Aura,

I like Anita’s sentiments and I want to add a few more questions for reflection.

1) Imagine your mom’s opinion did not make you look at your fiance any differently, what would you do then?

I read this article here on tinybuddha recently. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-ways-to-decide-whose-opinion-of-you-matters/.  It may be helpful to you.  It asks questions to clarify if you should actually accept the opinion being offered.

2) Why is your only option to get married or breakup?

If your fiance is as kind, thoughtful and loving as you say, I would hope he would be open to extending your engagement for you to work through your issues with your mom and to work through the thoughts she has planted in your head.  This give you and he more time to work through this together, possibly building stronger bonds.

2) How heavily is your dislike of parties weighing on your decision?

While I understand the expectation to have a big wedding (I am also from a Mexican family) I also understand that some of us do not desire to have one, plan one or be the center of attention.  Please know that there are alternatives to a big celebration that still allow you to celebrate with those you love.

One option is to have a very small ceremony with just those few people who are important enough to you to have them there.  Then have smaller get togethers with groups of people that either really want to celebrate with you or you want to celebrate with.  My husband and I did this and it was perfect.  We got married in a small ceremony with just our moms in attendance (both our dad’s have passed) and then we had several smaller get togethers, for cake, or dinner (but always champagne)- with different parts of each of our families, with different groups of friends-all without us having to plan- we simply told people that we would celebrate with them the next time we were going to see them.  It created a reason to spend time with people we loved and we had 5 cakes and more champagne that we could count.

Of course you don’t have to do it like we did, but understand there are other options than a big wedding, even in a mexican family.

I hope you come to find some peace with your mom and are able to accept that the best part of your fiance far outweigh the things your mom is finding to criticize.

Melissa