hi there.. sorry .. i think the time line is a little wrong on my explanation.

last year we were all ok… or so i thought.  then i get offered a job in another country.  we discuss and we decide we should see if it is a possibility.  at the same time as this happens we get the news that i have cancer and that he is going to be given the DBS.  his parkinsons was very very bad for a very long time 3 years of which he spent the majority of the time on the floor.  as our finances have been held together by me for the last 10 years (he has been working part – time )  i decide to work at this new job and keep everything going.. but it means that i have to have my treatment not in england.  his DBS is scheduled in England.   he leaves for england in mid jan this year and his operation was beginning of March. my chemo was then in full swing and i could not travel at all to be with him.  so i asked my friends to look after him.  3 weeks after his operation he tells me he no longer loves me and wants to leave because he has fallen in love.  this person is not interested in him but still he wants to leave..   all of this has now happened and he is going.. but I cannot seem to move on.. i am quite emotional and this is not really me .. is there anything i can do to help my fixation and obsession of this person.. who has hurt me and left me when i needed him the most..

i dont hate him.. i am angry.. but everytimg i talk to him i feel so lost and sad that  he is doing this … i cannot take back time .. what is done is done .. but i need to stop wanting to connect and i can’t seem able to.  maybe it is still the treatment i am undergoing .. maybe i just still love him regardless.. but that worries me because how can i love someone who can treat me so cruely and callously and coldly and still actually want him back..

anyway .. probably no answer but TIME