Hey.

First off I want to congratulate you on your amazing transformation. 🙂

Secondly…

I have to give you some of my backstory but I will try to not be long. About 6 months ago me and my gf of 4 years broke up. In retrospect I see it was a toxic relationship for me at least, and so it left me heartbroken, with no self-esteem and feeling unworthy of life.

I also had an amazing transformation in these 6 months and I am a completely different person. Very happy, very confident and the most inportant part: Finally worthy of someone else´s love.

Here is the important part for you. In these 6 months I hit many points in which I said: I am happy. In hindsight I see I was not trully happy and that I still had lots of space for improvement, and improve I did. Also life threw some curve balls at me which caught me off guard. What I am trying to say is that life is unpredictable to say the least, and there will always be situations that will challenge you to your very core.

This might seem like I am saying: You should feel scared. I am actually saying quite the opposite. There will be challenges nad your current hot streak might end some day and you might find yourself in a hole, but dont forget that you have done it once and you will be much better prepared to fight your way out of it. Also every whole you climb out of you will find yourself more fullfiled and happier.

Remember: You dont value good weather if has been sunny for two weeks straight. There have to be some rainy days so you can value the sunshine. Just take note the next time there is a sunny streak.

Hope this helps at least a bit.
Have fun!
Matic

Hi there letitgo! 🙂

I read your story and your feelings are so similar to mine that I had to register just to post this.

My story is very similar to yours. I was in a relationship for 4 years (we broke up in February so it has been 4 months) and it was great until it was not great anymore and it became toxic. Long story short, I am much better of alone than in that relationship.

But it was hard for me to realize this and I developed a ton of strategies of how to cope with anxiety and fear. I will share some at the end of this post so you dont have to read them if you are not interested.

About the approaches I strongly recomend, you try to understand what went wrong so you can gain some confidence in your future relationships. You will be able to avoid the same mistakes. Also try to trully understand why you chose to stay in a toxic relationship for so long. Last of all try to understand why has your partner behaved the way she did and with that understanding forgive her. She was not trying to be mean or toxic and I am sure she had her own problems. Try to understand that everybody is human and has some issues. 🙂

About those strategies:
1. I went for long 10 km walks and later on I joined a gym. The nature of exercise requires for you to be in the now so it will lessen your anxiety a lot and will also make you feel better about yourself. In this way I lost 10 kg and got really taned from the walkes! 🙂 Also on the walks your mind somehow gets really clear and I had a lot of revelations from this.

2. When my had is in a haze of emotions I just pour them out on some paper. In this way I have to make some sense of them so I can write them down.

3. Listen to music! Believe me! 🙂

4. Soround yourself with family and great friends and pour your heart out. You do not have to be alone in this time.

5. I strongly encourege you to try anything and everything you desire. If you want it, do it.

6. If you have the money for it, you should try some joga. It is fantastic. 🙂

I will gladly help you if you have any questions or just want to pour your heart out. Send me a private message and I can give you my mail. 🙂

Best regards.
Matic