I’m in my early twenties too and had a similar experience while growing up. My family was emotionally dysfunctional, my mom always victimized herself over every little thing and my dad blamed every little problem on me or her. They fought everyday, my dad always blaming me and my mom always begging me to take her side, it was suffocating and exhausting. I moved out when I was 18 and it was the best thing that I could have done for myself.

A little distance and growing up never hurts anyone. Hold down a stable job, pay for your own place and work towards your goals. Its always scary thinking you have to leave the comfort of your bedroom, its all you ever know but its the best thing for you.

Start by getting yourself a stable job, even if its not something you enjoy like a Cashier job, its a step towards independence. There is no reason why you can’t work a job, save up money and than pay for own schooling and housing. Your parents will respect you because you no longer live under their roof and you will be an independent adult. You will have control in your life, you can choose to save up money, go to school for Makeup or work toward your goals. You also do a lot of growing up when you move out because decisions become your own and you will need to deal with the consequences.

While I think its great you have a dream, be it Youtube, Make-Up, etc but you also need to be realistic. Being famous on Youtube is not easy and you will need a back up plan. Start of by being able to support yourself than reach for your dreams, to reach for the stars you have to be standing first.

You will be starting one of the most important and exciting decades of your life, your 20s is when you will lay the foundation for your life as an adult. Don’t waste it by being in a room watching Youtube Videos and hoping everything just kinda of works out. Your parents will not change nor will you magically have a car and a job you desire. Get up and go after the things you want. Time flies by very quickly.

In my opinion dear, this guy has been enough of a drag for you. People who abuse others generally are either trying to make themselves feel better or are just self-entitled. Chances are he will won’t accept responsibility and will just be other exhausting emotional episode for you. Move on from this guy, don’t waste your time trying to make him see it from your point, he won’t.

As Chuck Palahniuk said it best “That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone having a good f-ing laugh.”

Not saying you should bottle it up but find a better outlet, talk to someone you can trust like mom or maybe a close friend. I always encourage people to utilize their community, there is probably some free-to-attend group therapy and clubs. I know sometimes people feel shy about going to these groups but they are truly helpful and you meet people like yourself. Many of the these group leaders are survivors and kind hearted, they are wonderful ears! It really helps speed up the healing. 🙂

Good vibes to you!

Many people thrive on intimacy (by intimacy I mean close relationships) so there is nothing wrong with feeling lonely when you are by yourself, it just shows you are human. 🙂 But I think learning to be content with independence is also a good thing.

For college, I chose specifically to move to a town where I had no family or friends, it forced me to rely solely on myself for everything including emotional support. Its possibly one of the best and hardest things I had to do but it made me so much stronger as a person. I think learning to be by yourself is just as difficult as learning to be a social butterfly. One thing I think helps is doing things you like when you are by yourself. If you enjoy painting, do something painting. Other thing to try is do some every day stuff on your own, get use to being your own buddy. Watch a movie by yourself, go to a buffet by yourself, go shopping by yourself, etc, etc. Its crazy how different a experience is when you are on your own where there is no one else’s opinion or presence to alter the way you act.

Sometimes I think lots of people kind of plan their day according to events with other people. Rather than focusing on say a dinner with mom/a friend, try focusing on the lunch you will be eating yourself. Pick a good restaurant or recipe, make it really good so you love it. When we go out with other people we tend to enjoy ourselves more partially because we tend to pick better restaurants, go to more “fun” places we normally would not by ourselves.

When I first left home, I felt like there was a hollow hole instead me practically everyday, sometimes I lay in bed at night feeling very blue. I missed talking to my mom, eating dinner with other people, hearing people’s voices and having friends I can do stuff with. But overtime, I learned to talk to myself, reason things out on your own and have fun by yourself. Its a good feeling to be able to focus and love yourself.