Profile
Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
July 9, 2016 at 9:00 pm #109266MarshParticipant
Yeah that makes sense.. I still feel like I’m still holding on even though I don’t want to. And everything I enjoy just reminds me of her hahaha so I’m not quite sure how to get past that at the moment. Or I find myself trying to fill that void by doing things I wouldn’t usually do. Do I just gligbire her and block her all together or?
I need to make a very big change for myself for the future. I don’t know how to go about it though, any suggests on how to take the hold of the steering wheel?
May 8, 2016 at 10:58 pm #104003MarshParticipantSo that’s what it’s called? Yes I’ve had this, exactly the same as what your talking about, thought I was going crazy!. And it sucks. I do know if this stays the same you will have a very rocky relationship, I know I did.ive got a lot to say on the matter but I’ll keep it short.
what worked for me was working on myself. I came to realise I was insecure, jealous and somewhat controlling at the time. i could spend hours on this telling you how crazy I thought I was.
So basically I did a lot of self enquirery. Read a lot of books, podcasts, I was open to anything that would help me change.. I can give you a few names. Worked on my problems and started to do things for myself amoung of a lot of other things! This was my problem, perhaps not yours.
But I honestly look back now with no worries what so ever. I accept what’s happened now with no judgement.
It took a little while but I feel free from it.
May 8, 2016 at 1:40 pm #103963MarshParticipantThanks for the replies guys.
I totally understand where you are coming from @soopy. But studying is something I’d like to do.. More so I guess I’m scared of never having money and debt.
Doing the the trade is all about security and making money earlier. And having that life skill.
It’s funny how something so simple has derailed me haha
May 5, 2016 at 2:54 pm #103660MarshParticipantAnita,
Thankfully I have no debt, and a little bit of savings. I want to travel to see all the beauty the world has to offer. Mountains, lakes, Forrest.. People and their culture. I want an adventure!
I’m a pretty simple guy. I want to be sucsessful at what I do and make money so I can live and do what I want without fear. I don’t want to be rich. Just comfortable.
So it’s like do I do a trade because it’s easy to get into and I won’t get in debt?
Or study something in interested and live hard for a few years with little money?
May 4, 2016 at 4:05 pm #103567MarshParticipantHey joe, thanks for the reply.
I have thought of that somewhat, which could be good while I travel.
But I can get the idea of getting ‘ serious’ out of my head. I feel like I need my life to be sorted, even though I know it’s not the truth. It’s a battle against myself. I guess I don’t want to get to 30 and have nothing to show from it..
I feel like I need to do a trade or study now, rather then starting when I’m 30, I feel like it would be a lot harder by then.
March 23, 2016 at 3:07 pm #99914MarshParticipantIt sucks yeah, and and hurts. But I know there are good days and bad. Everything works out how it’s supposed too.
Thankyou.
March 23, 2016 at 12:33 am #99884MarshParticipantWell it’s done..ended it.
Time for the next adventure 🙂
March 22, 2016 at 9:05 pm #99878MarshParticipantYeah it looks like it should be over, I just wish I knew the reasoning behind it, like how she thinks.
I don’t know, I guess I’m now free to go where ever. Just have to sort out how she is going to collect her things aswell as the money she owes me.
I’m abit lost right now, every plan I had has died haha
March 22, 2016 at 8:29 pm #99875MarshParticipantYeah there is some sadness, Ofcourse, but I have to make the most of it.
We have spoken again and has said she can’t make it for my birthday, basicly I think it’s over.
She has said she is in love with me but she struggles. She isn’t sure if there is a future. She really wants it to work but is torn, she doesn’t understand why she can’t make more effort.
I just said to her ” then why did you let me come up, why say you are in it and love me etc” so that annoys me a little bit.
March 21, 2016 at 4:34 am #99677MarshParticipantYeah that’s pretty spot on, what you said makes a lot of sense.
That’s a shame. All I can do is laugh I guess haha.
March 20, 2016 at 11:38 pm #99663MarshParticipantWell we had a chat the other night, and I though it went well.
And the next morning she messaged me saying have a good day and I’ll call you tonight, and then nothing, obviously then next morning I felt abit off about it and asked what happened, we spoke but it just seemed like she didn’t care really.
She wrote to me saying that when we lived together in our small town all there was me, but now That she has moved there is trying to juggle work, making and meeting friends, doing fun things, family time etc aswell as me at the same time, I understand that part, but asked her why at times it feels like there is no effort at all from her,
She said we are now just on different levels,then I asked her if she is Coming down for my birthday next week and it just seemed half hearted, ” oh I’ll have to check, I might have to work, I need the money” and to me that is such a bad excuse. 6 months ago I’d never hear this, she would have made all the effort in the world.
Am I being selfish and hard on her? Thoughts?/
March 18, 2016 at 9:38 pm #99474MarshParticipantyeah i can try that, because right now it feels as if i dont know her.
ive said if she is over it to just tell me, it may hurt a litle but ive been through worse.i just want to know where i stand so my focus can go else where.
March 18, 2016 at 9:20 pm #99472MarshParticipantfor example id ask ” so do you want to be by yourself” and she will hesitate but will say i want you here, but im really enjoying alone time, i havn’t had it so long and i dont want to lose it, its nice not having to not look after you or the complaining, she says it in a nice way..but it doesn’t help me. she want me there, but doesn’t at the same time. so i think do i walk away or try it make that area better between us..hahaha hassle huh.
ive asked her everything ive needed to and so she does’t want to keep talking about it. it doesn’t help me what so ever.
March 18, 2016 at 9:01 pm #99469MarshParticipantwell i guess i haven’t had a lot of input with the move, i guess in general i leave a lot of things up to her, putting a lot of pressure on her to sort things out. i leave things until the last minute. and i guess its hard with her already stressful life at the moment.i cant deal with negativity and go to her to vent when im upset..which isn’t lot.
as for money we are young and both independent, we dont share an account and im the one with money, thats one thing i dont go to her for.i have leant her money recently,which she hates. and i have said ill pay the rent and and bond until she gets off her feet but she declined saying she has it a lot easier where she is not having to spend money on living.
usually im her rock, we laugh,have fun she tells me everything. all of a sudden not so much.
March 18, 2016 at 8:29 pm #99465MarshParticipantWell I’m not sure, I’m where I am with our stuff that I was supposed to bring up..
Yeah I feel exactly what you said.
I just don’t know where this has come from, I visited her when she first started becoming distant and she was fine, then when I got back home it really kicked in, and I just don’t know why.
Like, she has she she is still in it and loves me, why is she not excited and communicating with me then?
-
AuthorPosts