Hi Libby,
I have gone through what you are describing. I also had horrible thoughts…basically the worst possible thoughts I could think of. When I came across a thought that was bad, I’d have another that was worse until I got to the worst, worst, worst possible thought known to mankind. Scared the sh** out of me. I couldn’t even eat…I’d have to drink lots of water with my food just to get the food to go down. This lasted about two-weeks (with the worst thought)…I couldn’t sleep & was getting pretty delirious. I was in counseling at the time & the talking didn’t help alone. I was prescribed anti-depressants & this saved me. It took about a week until I felt normal again. Once free from that experience I find it relatively easy to not go there again. I am still on anti-depressants & its been several years. I know it is hard to tell anyone the exact thoughts you are having (because of how unacceptable they are to you) and remember…you don’t have to tell anyone specifically what those thoughts are. You are not alone. You will get past this and you will not act out those thoughts.