Dearest Reha,

I am much older than you. My kids are grown and I am about to celebrate my 52nd birthday. It’s odd (or not) that I should randomly find your post tonight on the internet. I have done a complete upheaval in my life after having a heart attack. Don’t smoke, drink, not overweight. Totally stress.

My entire life has been lived for everyone else. I can definitely say life has lived me, I have not lived life. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! I am just now starting to figure out how to live life.

One day, more quickly than you know, your children will be gone, with lives of their own. Then what? One thing the nurses and doctors and, yes, psychologist emphasized to me after my heart attack was that it does no one any favors when we do and do and do for everyone else and neglect the most important part of that equation: US.

Do whatever you must to find your life. You are doing no one a service by neglecting yourself. In fact, we teach our children that we aren’t that important and, in turn, they carry that forward into their own lives. You are not being selfish when you take time to figure out what YOU want, who YOU are. It teaches your children sel-esteem. But more than that, it gives a gift to the most important person in the world: you.

My older sister is trying to help me see that unless we have ourselves it doesn’t matter what else we have. You are the most important thing in your life.