I just registered myself here now, so that I could write to you. I see myself in you, in fact you are ‘me’ just a year ago.
I too had a very strict… to an extent very unfair upbringing where i was not allowed to mingle with friends etc. I was good in studies and did everything to please my parents.
Never considered my happiness, always did what others thought was right for me. I an a Comp Sci graduate. Soon after degree, parents got me married… i never liked the person I was getting married to, he is too self centered… but parents thought he was ‘suitable’ and even though I voiced my concern a few times, I dint question and got married.

It has been a terribly unhappy marriage for the last 9 years. I am over sensitive and he plays that and loves humiliating me in front of his family and they enjoy that. I have a daughter who is 5.

Now last year I had enough and I decided to change my life. I recognized my fear, low self esteem and over sensitivity is to be blamed. I cant blame my parents, I cant change the past. But i can change my future. I wanted to get out of this marraige… parents did not support and I am not financially independent yet and also he my husband is a good father… taking these things to account, I have decided to stay. For now. All my life i did what made my parents happy and now I feel so let down by everyone around me. Thats what happens when you give so much power over you to someone else. Now I have decided to live for myself. Do what I wish. Dont care what people say, dont get upset when someone criticizes you, because you are always alone with your problems, No one can help you if you are unhappy, so why bother about what others think?. Learn to be self sufficient. Once you let go and stop worrying what people think or talk about you, and stop trying to please others, just see how powerful you feel and that is an amazing feeling. Whats the worse that can happen? you are educated, you dont need to cling to anyone, learn to be self sufficient and only then you can have successful relationships. So my advice is , please dont make the same mistakes I did. Any negative feelings or anything that makes you uncomfortable, stop such thoughts right in your head. Take control of yourself. If he doesn’t respond the way you do, so what? it will pass. learn to be there for your self first only then you will be respected. And never let anyone else take charge of your happiness. This may seem very hard now, but believe me it can be achieved. Also take a look at the following links,

http://www.berzinarchives.com/web/x/nav/group.html_1498983019.html

http://www.berzinarchives.com/web/x/nav/group.html_739864309.html