Hi anita,
Thank you for your reply. Back in the days of my childhood and teenage, the thing keeping me motivated and driving me forward was my desire to travel the world. It’s the only thing I feel passionate about. 5 years ago I lived in a fantasy world where I used to feel happy thinking about traveling the world one day. Now that I’m in the real world, I realize it’s not so easy. It requires truckloads of money and in my case (a powerless passport), a lot of luck as well. So now I have no motivation. I tried for one or two scholarships abroad, but didn’t get it because it was so competitive (obviously, like everything is).