I really feel for your situation because I have been a sufferer of OCD and I know the severe impact that this anxiety disorder can can have on your life. Just know that it CAN get better. While OCD sufferers can have many different types of obsessions, it all basically boils down to the same thing; a fear of uncertainty,the inability to experience anxiety provoking thoughts as thoughts and feelings and feelings and the urge to try to change thoughts and feelings. This is the trap.
I recommend that you watch all the videos on Mark Freeman’s YouTube channel. It is not until you can get a real understanding of the disorder that you can really start making progress towards recovery. This channel is great for that. I have included the link below to the channel. he has helped myself and many others. I have also included the link to his video which specifically discusses harm OCD, but as I said, the nature of the obsession is quite irrelevant in recovery.