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MandaParticipant
Aballa,
It is alright, what I went through has taught me lessons that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. As I’m sure you have as well.
It was difficult to leave. All of that time I had built an emotional investment, it could be called a dependency even, that had me feeling much the same way- knowing that the relationship was toxic but not wanting to give up the familiarity. Even reasoning couldn’t get through for the longest time. But eventually it’s just deciding what is best for you and what is needed for you to grow.
So I would say, sit with your feelings of missing him. Experience them, but don’t act on them. It’s a process, but you’re already away from him, and that’s the largest part of the battle.You’ve got this!
MandaMandaParticipantAballa,
Dear, please go with your gut on this one. I was in the same situation as you, I went head-first into a controlling, emotionally abusive relationship without realizing it. Five years later, I found myself moved out of state. Cut off from friends, family, and my bank account bled dry.
Men like this more than likely do not change, no matter how many times they say they will. No matter how good the good times are with them, if you feel like you are walking on eggshells just to keep things complacent or to avoid an emotional outburst, then that is your number one red flag that you should not be anywhere near this person!
For your own safety, please reign in those feelings of missing him. Because I know you know that the next step from emotional abuse is physical abuse. It is not a fun ordeal. If you need to get anything back from him, do so as swiftly as possible. Personally, I found it best to cut my losses and find any way I could out.
It’s been a year and a half since I left, and I am only just now beginning to regain my sense of peace.I do hope that you find yours and that you are able to leave the abuse behind.
Best wishes,
Manda -
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