Do you have any book recommendations that talk about human behavior? I think that this could help me further.

Yes, very familiar. I’ve begun distancing myself from and I’m beginning to feel ok again.

The only thing that upsets me is that I see that I’ve upset her, and as a person that likes everyone to be happy I don’t want to fall in that trap again. Because if I’m nice to her she will start with the requests again. I realised that if stating my boundaries upsets someone I just have to let it be.

And what is this with the fact that she never asks guys to do things? I mean she even does sometimes part of their work, is not upset/angry when her subordinate is late, never asking him to buy her or bring her anything,  is always asking people to help him? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that my colleague is having an easier job, but I’m just trying to understand.

MandangoFandango

Dear Anita,

Thank you very much for the reply. I feel so uneasy when I’m around her knowing that I don’t like her, and still make an effort to do so because I love my boyfriend and want him to be happy.

I am very happy that it’s not so much about me as about her own behaviour. The only thing I can do is spend less time with her, but encourage my boyfriend do spend time with her alone if he wants to. I just hope that when we have children my boyfriend won’t insist about leaving the kids alone with his mother. I found  that when I bring his mother’s behaviour up my boyfriend defends her(I only said that I don’t think she likes me very much considering what she said about his cousin’s girlfriend behind her back versus what she said to her face), but there are times when he by himself sais that she sais hurtful things, drinks a lot, is always late…

Thank you very much for bringing peace of mind to me.