Katylee, Thank you for sharing your story.

I believe that we humans are very complex and so our relationships, also that complexity gives place to an infinite possibilities in our experience of love. It is also very mysterious (at least for me) why and who we fell in love with. So, in my perspective you’re not a terrible person, you are just human. And it’s not that YOU deserve to suffer because of what “you did”, you just gave a shot to that person, you felt it was the right thing to do because of that love that you felt. Now you’re in a painful situation where you can find something, some truth about yourself, something that will make you grow.. Maybe you did met for a reason, maybe he is actually teaching your soul something, it wasn’t what you expected for sure but maybe you can discover something.

I’ve heard similar stories, myself included fell in love with someone while being engaged, I’ve known people that fell in love while married and decided to stay together, people leaving their marriages for some new love and being very happy, others completely the opposite. So this is your own experience, your are not alone, you are not terrible, you are just learning and living. I think that we can’t control the result of the choices that we give a shot to, we decide expecting the best outcome, but life it’s like that. You made a choice, he made a choice and even though you love him, he is not fully compromising with you for whatever reason he has, so if you need to be heartbroken, be heartbroken, live your pain and do something nice for you everyday. What works for me is to sit with that discomfort and pay attention to my feelings and write how I feel everyday, being very honest with myself, going for walks, talking to friends, taking it easy on a daily basis. Still I have days I feel so confused is overwhelming but in the end I know everything is temporary no matter how hard it feels, everything changes. 🙂

I hope you feel more clear as the time goes by.