Cranberry

You have a lot going on so it only makes sense to me that your emotions are all over the place.

First of all I will say that it’s great that you have a parent who seems to back yo…thats a wonderful thing to have…the support from a parent. Don’t worry about making your mom proud or not to disappoint her…she seems supportive..therefore would be proud of you and your accomplishments.

Secondly, sorry to hear of your break up…please don’t take all of the blame…as females we tend to have some jealousy issues some maybe more than others…but were there times that he brought it on? It’s natural to second guess a break up… were there certain situations that brought on insecurities or were you emotionally abusive because he wasn’t showing enough affection?

Also, my advice do not ask him about her..as it will show insecurities…which is not what you want him to see..as it will bring up any past issues to mind…any thoughts you want are to see you as a positive happy person.

Another point…of course he will post happy pictures of himself…he won’t post a pic of him being sad….but a lot of times we think our exes are happier than what they really are.

Macy

Serenity

Last night I posted on your other thread, and than read this one today. I must say that I thought you were in your early twenties (not that this matters by any means), I just think you are wise beyond your years. It breaks my heart when I hear so many young people having a crappy home life…children’s security and happiness should always be placed as a priority. You said you have no friends…is it possible to switch schools? Sometimes a new school gives new opportunities. I have 2 girls…my oldest is now 17. Up until grade 5, my oldest had no friends at school and it was hard to watch. The start of grade 6 I put my foot down and said she needed to switch schools…I said give it a couple of weeks if you don’t like it I will switch you back to the other school. Right from day one at her new school she loved it…and years later the ones who wouldn’t give her the time or day, are wanting to be her friend…but she has other friends and doesn’t need them.

You said you have your mom….are you able to talk to her on how you feel…and does she not see how your dad is abusive to you?

You indicated in your other thread LGBT.. (I may come across a bit naive …(and i am sorry, not being rude)just because I do not know much about LGBT), but does the city you live in have support groups? Cause than I’m sure you would find a great support network of friends.

Macy

Serenity

Thanks for explaining what pan-sexual is…I never heard of that until I read your thread. However, that makes sense to me, to be attracted to a personality, vs what genitals that person may have. I am a female who is attracted to the opposite sex…but I believe whomever a person wants to be, whether it’s to change their sexual orientation, or be attracted to the same sex, or be it to the other persons personality.I think it’s good that anyone can express who they are and whomever they want to be attracted to and not criticized for it.

Going back to pan-sexual…you know in my line of work..I deal with men and women..and i find that sometimes I could talk for hours to some people..sometimes it’s a man, the next it’s a female..but it’s because of our personalities with some that just click…so I get what you are saying and makes sense to me.

Did I understand your explanation correctly?

Macy

Tiny Believer,

First of all sorry I called you Siri in my last response. .sorry.

If you tried talking to him, maybe try marriage councilling, however I think he will buck at that because he didn’t go to your doctor appointment, which to me is more important than any money issue…that to me speaks volumes as to how controlling and disrespectful he is to you.

So he has given you the ultimatum, are you ok with leaving? Otherwise if you stay you will be under his thumb, is that what you want for the rest of your life? Next he will take your paycheque away and give you an allowance according to what you’ve done around the home or how your behaviour is.

Maybe take a time out away from each other..if you have a close friend or family near by, maybe you can move in with them for a bit, to give you clear breathing room, and will allow your husband to think what he has demanded on you…it will also let him know that his ultimatum may be something that will take place..he may think otherwise once you would remove yourself away from him for awhile.

So if he made more money than you, he would still be in control..so it’s not like all the money would go into a joint account where it would be shared 50/50…he just wants to control it all.

Connie

It sounds like you obviously don’t want to break up…as everything up to the 2 hour fb talk were great. And we have all had these moments where a day is perfect than something said is taken the wrong way…and text in any way is hard..because what your frame of mind is and his could be different. That unfortunately,  is the bad thing about text vs in person.

So was it something in your fb talk that either you took the wrong way or your boyfriend?

Cause it seems up till then everything was great. Especially when you were talking about travels and marriage. Usually when there is a breakup there is a couple months when one can tell it’s not going well…and one can even tell if it’s the other person pulling away. It doesn’t sound that way with your relationship. And yes not every relationship is not perfect…there are always disagreements for sure.

Macy

Sophie

Good job for putting yourself first..and for keeping the promise you made to yourself, that you would never be with another man who had a temper.

I get the point that it is loney and you would be happy to be with someone..and you somewhat regret not having gone back to your ex..but whenever something like this hapens to me (I had a recent breakup)…I remember how unhappy I was when I was with him…so being alone isn’t so bad.

I think when you become content by being by yourself you will meet someone…being happy and content gives off vibes…people are attracted to that.

I think it’s great that you are investing in yourself at this time….additional knowledge always pays off. A lot of cities offer cooking classes or wine classes…if there is something that you enjoy..you never know who you’d meet there..besides it would be common ground of interest.

I hope that was a bit of help.

Macy