Hello,

I hope this still gets updated because I feel like I really need help and I have nobody to go to with this.

Alright, so I have been having a relationship with an amazing guy for about 8 months now and in the beginning it was going more then well for us. We had a picture perfect relationship, except there were some tiny triggers but I never really cared. They always made being at his place hard for me and stressful and exhausting but I didn’t care as long as I was with him. Whenever those things happened though, my whole day was spoilt. Still, I did not care, I just wanted to be with him. When he went to see his family in France for two months I was SUFFERING at home because I could not be away from hin that long, not even face timing made it better for me. There then started being small conflicts like him expecting me to do things for him that he doesnt do himself or him making me cry every time he was on drugs and blaming me for things he would have forgotten about once he had sobered up. Often he was beating me up for things I was doing that have absolutely no impact on his life.

At a certain point he started calling me his one but I would never feel like that because they say if you know you know and i didn’t know. That doesn’t mean though, that I can’t picture us in a LONG and happy relationship just not NECESSARILY forever but anything can happen you know.

Nevertheless, some time ago when I was away from him I wasn’t feeling like the first time. I didn’t miss him as much anymore. He sent me flowers and presents every day that I was away and of course I appreciated them but I wasn’t as happy about those things as I was the first time he had done that. That was after he started having those expectations of me and also after he would have those lash outs when taking drugs. That was, I believe when I started to suddenly feel like I was falling out of love for him. And don’t get me wrong now, I think I am still very much in love with him but it definitely is getting less. A couple months in I was once on a plane and thought to myself that if this plane would crash, I would choose to send my last text message to him rather than my mom.

I don’t know what to do now because I think we do have a real connection but I don’t always feel 100% happy in the relationship but I also know that breaking up with him would break his heart and he would probably never get over that. He keeps telling me that he pictures us growing old together and that he could not imagine being with anyone else after a potential breakup.

If anyone read this far, would you have any advice on getting that feeling back because there is no way I could end things with him. Kind regards, Bee