He and i both agreed to not tell anyone, theres many males within our social circle that he gyms with that has interest in me and he also is aware that many guys have interest whether its social media or in public so our social media, families and social acquaintances still see that we are in a relationship. In the beginning he wanted to be friends with benefits then he called us room mates but all of a sudden he seeks to be close to me, wants to do activities with me, shares all his ideas and gets bothered when im not paying too much attention to him, theres many things he says and does that gives me mixed signals. I even saw him watching an adorable video of the 2 of us. The password on hes computer is still our mutual nick name, he still has all our photos and memories on his phone, Our photo frames still hang on the wall in the house. He asks my opinion and advice all the time. But he still goes into his neutral un-attentive state and he tries at times not to look into my eyes. We dont hold hands, and kiss affectionately. He doesnt look at me the same, he doesnt communicate via text the same.  The affection when we alone at home seems to be gradually growing so i do see a positive sign. He even tries to be playful, he tickels me and tries to make me laugh.

He currently has a wall up towards his mother but he still seeks to visit his family and when she shows any narcissistic signs he just glances at me and laughs or smiles. she is the type of woman that loves to play the victim or loves to be the centre of attentions and loves to feel pitied but in return she throws horrible passive aggressive comments like daggers and suger coats it with a smile or laugh. so we dont entertain her too much. Hes mother divorced his father when he was 7 and his father was very religious and strict… But eventually his father also faded out of his life and still today he barely has a connection with his dad. His mother has kicked him out of the house many times due to her mental problems. She is diagnosed and she isnt able to work anymore because of her mental issues. She for years was accusing her mother of sending demons to haunt her and they have been moving from house to house every time his mother has a mental break down and blames demons haunting her and making her sick. So for a young boy he has moved to 7 different schools and about 20 different homes. His mother has significantly caused inconsistency in his life. although for the most part he functions very well as a evolved being and he is an amazing person but it seems his upbringing imbalances comes out when he fails. He always told me that his mother use to shout and swear when he got homework wrong. She use to scream with so much anger that the saliva would come from her mouth. He clearly fears failure and he has been programmed by his mothers aggression at a young age that theres horrible repricutions to failing. And now he doesn’t even accept failure from himself.  The funniest part is that today he went to go see a movie with his mom. She pretents to be caring and giving but its only her amo to later use against you.

He had previously asked for a break last year, the sudden request for a break came after he faced a loss in his career. he never showed signs that it was still affecting him. He and i even spent a weekend at my sisters place and he had a great time, but in that week he started being distant and cold and at that time he stayed quite a distance from me so we only communicated via text and saw each other once a week but he became very quite and “occupied” i obviously felt sad about the distance and we got into a small argument which led to him asked for a break and i couldn’t understand why he needed a break when we barely see each other, so i broke down and sent him a million texts trying to gain clarity and what he had said felt like a stab straight to my heart. He told me he had been fantasizing about other women and that he needed to break free for a bit, he said that spending that weekend at my sisters freaked him out imagining being settled and with kids. He said he needed a week an if he doesn’t make a move on anybody he will know his love for me is real. I went into depression, i was in so much pain and anxiety i couldn’t eat, i barely slept, and i couldn’t speak to anyone about what had happened so i locked myself in my room for days and barely came out. I sent him so many texts asking him to be there for me but he just said that i needed to let the time pass and that i must be strong. after the third day i wanted to take my life and i told him the pain is too much and that i felt sick. He then rushed to meet up with me, When we met up he admitted that he doesnt know whats wrong with him and that he knows it has something to do with his loss, he then admitted to lieing about desiring other women and said he didnt know how else to push me away. After our meetup i stopped texting him so much and tried to get out of my depression so i met up with friends and started getting out, he started texting and checking up on me but i didnt respond or if i did i responded very neutral. He then asked if i was moving on, and i told him that my friends suggest i speak to other guys to get him off my mind and suddenly he wanted to talk more and he started chatting to me and i could tell he was trying to get close again. he then asked to see me but i told him that its going to take time before i trust him again and he agreed and understood. He came to see me and he apologized and tried to get me to eat again. I kept my safe distance but he felt bad at the sight of the broken woman he loves and he grabbed and hugged me and started to cry. we both cried and eventually landed up making love. He had to do alot of fixing after that because i didn’t trust him as  much. But a few months later we landed up moving in together and when living with his mom failed he invested a lot of his money into us moving out on our own which was a dream come true for us. And we’v been happy ever since….

Until he lost that fight 2 months ago.. and i become overbearing and i told him im feeling uneasy because the last time he lost a fight he started acting a certain way then asked for a break. And he said he understood my fears and a month later he did exactly that… he asked for this current break.

I do think that this is just a faze, i do see gradual improvements but not enough to feel secure in our relationship. He still seems to be a little bit heavy in his energy. I can tell because i am very motivated and happy within myself, i try and be as optimistic about everything and he still lets the small stuff get to him. He was always the positive one when i was pessimistic. Today is our anniversary and obviously we are on a break and im feeling quite sad because im still in love with him and i just want things to get better between us. I play motivational videos around him, we watch movies that display good love stories. He still brings me to his family gatherings. When we are watching movies or something and i try sit close to him and be affectionate and he seems to be unresponsive or neutral but the moment i give him space by sitting away from him or sit somewhere else to go do something he calls me back and asks why i dont want to watch the movie with him or want to sit with him and he looks at me with these puppy eyes, This is all very confusing, but i know i cant just tell him to snap out of it or pressure him into being in a relationship with me again so i have no choice but to sit and wait. He knows he wont lose me and that i feel he is taking for granted in which hes taking his time. Its not fair on me to put my needs on hold for a man who doesnt know whether he wants to be with me or not. This may just be a hickup for us to grow as individuals in our long life together, Its hard to know what hes looking for within himself or me and thats why i am just growing in all aspects and its been amazing because despite this break i have been quite happy and feeling good within myself.

Thank you.

I will definitely take that advice. I did have this worry that he may be keeping his options open. He has recently decided to work with a mutual acquaintance who is going to help him build up his career(market related) and help him get sponsorship etc. This woman attends our gym and she has shown major signs of attraction for my boyfriend, shes a beautiful bubble woman. Its very upsetting to see him out of the blue seek her expertise. I try my best to act as though im not concerned or insecure about their new business arrangements but it does bother me alot. He shares alot with me so he keeps me up to date on what they are busy with and last night he was filling me in on what took place during their meeting and he then told me she has very weird eyes and he gave me many examples of how she looks a little retarded when she laughs… I was already cringing inside because the fact hes even speaking about her but then he started making fun of her, not sure if he did that so that i dont feel insecure about her or if he is making fun of her to hide his interest in her. I just brushed the conversation off and changed the subject. My boyfriend use to be a huge player and hes friends are still very big players, one currently has a girlfriend but is fooling around with an older woman. My boyfriend completely changed when he met me, he became extremely protective and we created a very trusting relationship. Im so afraid that he may try seek out that old life of his and do what hes friend is doing to his girlfriend. My boyfriend and i have grown and changed so much since we met that its unreal to even imagine him cheating on me.

I guess i cant stop him from cheating or whatever he decides to do. I can only be the best girlfriend i can be. I know he also has fears of me meeting someone else.

Hes level of affection seems to be growing, hes slowly opening up and dropping his walls but im also guarding myself of disappointment because ive seen how his best friend manages to cheat on his girlfriend and pretends to be very loving and the poor girl tells me how much she trusts him.

He might have a tendency to want to be cared for and nurtured at times, so that leads me to believe he does seek a motherly type of care from his girlfriend. He also is a ruthless MMA fighter who shows no mercy nor weakness so him being vulnerable with me scares me because im afraid due to his current quarter life crisis he will push me away due to the vulnerability he feels with me. He has a crazy need to be invincible and limitless and he feels that a relationship can restrict him and enable him to reach his full potential. He obviously felt he wasnt succeeding in our relationship before the break and he also wasnt succeeding in his career… he literally struggled to motivate himself on a daily bases. Since we’ve been on a break i have given him space and have not made him feel like he has to answer to me, So with this freedom he has managed to get himself out of the gutter and find his passion and drive for his career again. But he still is battling with financial problems and i am the only one who has a steady income. Money has never been a problem in our relationship because i fell inlove with him and never pressured him into providing for me. Still today i never make it his responsibility to provide, he is chasing his dreams and i fully support him win or lose. We have such a great support system and foundation to our life.. i have been his number one fan and an amazing girlfriend (The perfect girlfriend) he would say. He says we got stuck in a pattern and thats why we began to argue and butt heads. We dont talk about the break or our relationship… we just chat, laugh, play, cook and go about our business with the elephant in the room. I want to wait till he is ready to speak about us. i indirectly drop hints to show him ive matured and am in a much happier place. He may start to get comfortable with this idea of no commitment but getting all the best parts of having a girlfriend which i want to avoid. I feel that he is slowly getting attached to me again and i need him to really remember how amazing our relationship can be before i raise the steaks of losing me. He needs to remember that we have a irreplaceable bond and love. Im waiting for the right time where he will try behave territorial over me and i want to make it clear that he has requested a break and he doesnt have the right to take ownership of me… hoping that will encourage him to commit. Is that a good approach? or what should i do?

Thank you. I am definitely considering this approach because right now he has full control due to knowing i am still inlove with him. he wants to go see a movie, he takes me places with him and he checks up on me when he senses some distance. all this caring behavior yet he says we still on a break. while im at work he doesnt text me if he does its very blunt and emotionless. but as soon as he fetches me he seems happy to see me and wants to have bubbly conversations he even speaks in hes gentle loving voice. I have made changes to my approach and mind in hopes to get a reaction out of him and so far its drawn him closer. he was very cold and emotionless towards me when i was going through my depression. i have to take responsibility for being needy during our relationship and also not following my dreams, but when i asked him to give me a chance to change and to improve our relationship he was dealing with his own inner crises and didnt have the patients and strength to endure back and forth relationship emotional negotiations. he says he has to focus on himself and his career and he doesn’t care what sacrifices it takes. so at this point hes not mentally ready to be won over by a relationship, we are so very close and this is the guy who said he wants to love me forever and he was looking at sharing a future with me but things got very complicated and we started clashing heads alot after his last failure(his an MMA fighter) about 2 months ago. he wasnt being the man i know him to be and that caused me to become overbearing and at times needed to mother him cause his lack of initiative and motivation. He may have been going through a depression without me knowing and i may have come across as a horrible woman at a time he felt vulnerable. so now hes put up so much walls regarding our relationship and i feel that i just need to give it time and slowly prove to him that this break has grown me into a different woman and im in a much better and mature headspace. Our relationship has been a great responsibility for him and he did everything to keep me happy but that in the end costed him his happiness and freedom which i feel wasnt fair and i want to desperately show him i trust him and want to do whatever it takes to bring him happiness as he did for me. Time is the only thing that can heal him at this point, he turns to me for any kind of support and to share his progress with. Hes talking about jobs that he can bring in extra money and buying a car as we current move around on a scooter. So as messed up as it seems theres so many signs that he isnt ready to completely let go, he just feels alot of pressure as a man and girlfriend emotional responsibilities are alot to take on during this battle his facing. He wants me to be independent and strong so thats what im striving for. He openly shares his attraction for me and he opens up about his vulnerable side that nobody else sees so my female mind is in distress because of the title not being clear but i feel if i just take into account his actions, he very much still wants to be with me, he just needs more evidence of  a healthier, happier and more independent woman. If i suspect anymore dishonest behavior i will simply call him out and break up with him. I dont care if we still live together, he is very affected by my cold treatment and it pains him but i will then focus on myself completely and not nurture his feelings and ego any longer.