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Luckygrl7Participant
Nice quote. Thanks for sharing that. It helped me a little bit somehow.
@ Hopeless. This might not mean much now, but many of us are forcing ourselves to walk ahead with you. It sounds like you might be in a bit of shock or perhaps it was so much in such a short time. Maybe you need to mourn and go through the stages of grief. You are hurting so much and not being able to eat, sleep, or find pleasure or solace, well those things are just par for the course. You can’t allow yourself to get stuck, but you can give yourself time to grieve.
Now for the hard stuff. You have to hold your head high and remind yourself that this is all his dysfunction, immaturity, problem. It really is much better to figure this out sooner than later. You also have to take care of yourself. Force yourself if you have to. Make it part of your routine.
As far as how you are feeling, I’ve had some success with a sort of meditative visualization. I will imagine undesired thoughts, emotions, people, situations being loaded into a rocket or airplane, floating away high in the atmosphere and being dumped far away in the middle of the ocean, exploding in space or whatnot. Sometimes I visualize the now empty plane return from dumping my pain and unload something I desire in my life.
I hope that your former significant other miraculously makes things right and is there for you, your illness turns out to be a false diagnosis or a cure is found and that you are surrounded by love, joy, comfort, happiness, health and peace. 🙂
February 22, 2016 at 4:28 pm in reply to: anyone have tips on changing a negative mindset into POSITIVE? #96820Luckygrl7ParticipantHi. I’ve spent most of my life feeling the same way so you aren’t alone. I am not completely optimistic by any means, but I found that by noticing, challenging and correcting my thoughts it helped in some ways. I can at least identify a pessimistic thought and view and challenge it. Trying to make myself become an optimistic seemed more like committing a crime against myself and only made things worse for me since I somehow equated optimistic thoughts with expectations, I was perpetually let down lol. It also didn’t work well with black and white or all/nothing thinking.
Hypnosis and subliminal audio helped with addressing my thinking. I would love to check out the book “Feeling Good”.
I did try the daily gratitude thing for a few years and it was of no benefit for me and I don’t think it changed my brain. Many days, I am grateful for air, a horrible miserable job and a running vehicle despite the engine lights being on, usually the same items each day but I did find it was a good exercise. I think it fostered a tendency to try to find something to be grateful for when I feel miserable and everything is wrong. I still use an app on my phone daily, it is called Happy Habits I think.
Now, about your parents. I can relate to that as well. The parents and family are so negative and hateful. They always have been. I’ve resorted to avoiding them and trying to minimize time spent around them (brings me down so much).
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