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Natasha

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  • in reply to: I have no idea what I got myself into! #75198
    Natasha
    Participant

    Please leave this man and don’t take him back. I have just come out of an abusive relationship that lasted 5 years, the abuse only gets worse and it gets harder to leave. I’m not in the right frame of mind to comment more today as I have come looking for support myself. I am out of the relationship 4 months now and I wouldn’t wish this emotional turmoil on anyway so please follow your instinct. His behaviour isn’t right and you do deserve a relationship with equal mutual respect. Please take a look at the cycle of abuse.

    in reply to: How to overcome the need to seek validation from others? #74523
    Natasha
    Participant

    Rejection highlights our insecurities, it’s the nature of rejection, looking for a reason that we were rejected and highlighting all the things in ourselves that we feel may have let us down or that will lead us to being rejected again in the future.

    Truth is all these flaws you mention are like building a big protective barrier around yourself, if you highlight these flaws in yourself you may feel as though you are protecting yourself from further hurt and preempting what others may think, which is probably far from the truth. I doubt when people meet you they think God he’s really short and you can tell he’s from a middle income family?!

    Start taking steps towards loving yourself, do things that you enjoy for you, take part in activities that make you feel alive, surround yourself with people that care about you and your happiness and break the cycle of negative thoughts. Once you truly love yourself you won’t feel the need to be validated by others, we have to learn to love from the inside out. It’s hard and it’s a journey I am taking myself at the minute. I find sometimes its easier to look for validation from others instead of looking into myself for the answer. But the more I kick the habit the more I love the decisions I make and the less I doubt myself, and I’m happier overall in all aspects of my life.

    I know the more I love myself the more able I am to love others, and the love is more real.

    Have faith in yourself, all the best x

    Natasha
    Participant

    Thankyou for replying with your kind words. I have reread my post and realise I was rambling slightly, due to being upset I think.

    I have recently looked at bipolar as mutual friends and family from both sides mentioned that and other personality disorders, narcissistic I think was one, and to be honest he has multiple and strong traights of all.

    Some days I feel at peace with the reality, accept it for what it is and others I feel weak and tired. I don’t want to be better so I’m trying my hardest to let go of resentment towards him and the situation, including the what ifs and the what were meant to bes and some days I can’t move past the Broken promises and the fact my future is altered.

    It’s ironic as I try to live all aspects of my life knowing they are ever changing, however I seem to have excluded my relationship from this rule.

    Natasha
    Participant

    Forgot to mention He maintains all the abuse began because I slapped him the time mentioned above, even though the verbal abuse had already begun and he had broken things in the house already just not physically touched me yet at that point

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)