Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply to me, I never speak about these things to the people in my life right now.

I have read carefully all of your responses and I see a lot of wisdom in them. The biggest challenge for me is my own self worth, I’ve been in this mindset so long now that I can’t even remember anything else, and for the longest time I never even realized what I was doing until a family member pointed it out to me recently. It will be a while before I can silence the negativity, I’ve always validated myself through others, I still have trouble believing that people even acknowledge me in my absence.

I will try to implement your suggestions as best as I can, even though my mind is telling me i will fail again, I will start out small. As for antidepressants, I have been on sertraline for almost half a year now, it helps with my anxiety but does little else, it works better than citalopram though.

Again, thank you everyone, until next time