Hi Matt, I have been reading your responses to other participants and feel honoured that you’ve taken the time to help me. I love the way you explain things. I did feel a sense of light while I was with him and others have commented on this. It makes sense that this joy was more about how it made me feel rather than the person involved. I really don’t want this light to disappear so finding a way to grow that independent of others is really important for me right now. I’ve never been good at self caring and find it hard to just focus on my needs. Icing on a cake sounds brilliant – I think I’ve been thirsty for a long time. I haven’t tried meditation so will check out your recommendation. Thanks again – your warmth is truly felt. Jo 🙂

Thanks so much for your reply Ben, it’s good to know I’m not alone. I’ve really been thinking about your explanation of our boundaries and I know you’re right, maintaining this relationship is draining away my confidence. No matter how much I tell myself that these feelings will pass with time, deep down I know that sealing the wound is necessary for my well being. Love the quote – I’ll try to remember it. Jo 🙂