It also took me a long time to learn that I don’t control other poeple’s happiness, nor am I in charge of it.  Some lessons take decades to learn

Thanks for your insight. I had not thought of it before but you are right, sister 2 is grieving the loss of the family unit that we used to have. I know grief takes time and goes in stages.

I worry that the sadness will make her mental health worse. I feel bad that she is sad.  I worry about holidays/birthdays, etc.  It’s like she is the child of divorced parents; she will spend half a holiday with me and half with sister 1.

I think it helped her feel better just to air her feelings to me, and get them off her chest. But I worry that it will keep coming up again and again.

Thanks Mark 🙂 Yes I remind sister 2 often that I love her, and provide her tons of emotional support.  I never speak badly about sister 1 to her; not one mean word.  I did not explain to her the details of my fight with sister 1 but gave a broad overview, and basically told her that I was putting myself and my husband first, and was doing it for my mental health (I have been much mentally and physically healthier in the past few years) and she seemed to understand.