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Gabriel

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Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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  • February 22, 2025 at 12:10 pm #443155
    Gabriel
    Participant

    Thank you Anita,

    I can indeed relate to a couple of the situations you mentioned during my childhood and i am aware that some of my issues come from there i already talked about it in therapy.
    I needed to write and think about everything and this is really sweet from the people who read me and answered thank you. Everything is obviously not solved but it felt good to write and see the answers.

    February 22, 2025 at 5:33 am #443140
    Gabriel
    Participant

    Hello Jana, thank you for sharing your experience.

    I think it is probably a mix of everything, anxiety and fear of commitment i always feel like that i must not waste the time of my partner and that i must really be serious about this relationship and i have to commit to it without the possibility to go back in a previous state. So yes the fear of commitment has a big role in this anxiety it prevents me to spend quality time with my partner despite the fact that i want to spend time with her but when i do i am overwhelmed and get obsessive thinking about the future.

    We made some huge progress but recently i had the feeling that my needs to get my energy back was not understood and i can agree that i was not being a good boyfriend spending so much time alone and pushing her away.
    The more time passes the more my old habits makes surface, i used to be a very loving person at the beginning of the relationship and now i am more distant. I guess i should discuss it with her but it’s hard to be discuss this kind of things because it could mean we are not compatible and the discussion turns easily into an argument despite me trying to reassure her that i deeply love her and want her around for as long as possible and i get scared when she says things like you can’t give me what i need in the relationship.

    I will try to be better at communicating with her my needs and how i can refill my energy and still show her the love she deserves.

    February 22, 2025 at 4:17 am #443137
    Gabriel
    Participant

    Thank you Alessa for your answer, i enjoyed reading it because you understand exactly what my issue is.

    I indeed have difficulty spending time with other people, actually with everyone i dont regret the time spent but i always have the feeling that i have to force myself. When i lived with my parents i was easily irritated by their presence despite them doing nothing wrong.

    What increases my level of anxiety is when i feel like i should spend time with my partner because it is the normal thing to do and that she might be sad if i don’t. Despite me communicating with her about it and my needs to spend time alone she thinks that i don’t love her and i don’t want her to think that.

    And yes move in with her is a lot of pressure she said that we don’t have to at the moment if i don’t feel ready and she is not either but i have to live in an other city to join her and this is what causes a lot of pressure too but i have to do it otherwise the relationship will never move forward.
    We are working on learning to not stress each others during break time and its still extremely difficult despite me slowly understanding how to handle all that.

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