Hi Jack,

In my experience, it was always one teacher who was able to reach a troubled kid, even better than a counselor. I can think of one teacher in particular. We students could all sense that he didn’t quite fit into the “establishment”, but he was the one guy all of us trusted, and after graduation many (including myself) kept in touch with him. He’s now retired, but to this day many of his former students still go to him for advice on everything under the sun. I know it’s very rewarding for him. He’s everyone’s favorite “counselor”. I believe I had read in an earlier post that you used to teach but that it didn’t work out. Was it in elementary school? I wonder if you would ever consider teaching older kids? I think older kids would really get you and your sense of humor. Just thinking out loud. 🙂

lori

A good joke
Kauai
A fire in the fireplace on a cold evening
Random acts of kindness
Total trust in another person
Stretching my tight neck (actually, sometimes I hate this)
The last 20 yards of a long run
Talking with my dad
Hot cocoa with whipped cream
First thing morning, morning (thank you, anita)
Being my authentic self and feeling accepted
Making a difference in someone’s life
A clean house
A cold glass of white wine with a friend
Tiny Buddha

Hi sanguine:

Seeing “Ann and Sanguine Smith” scroll across her monitor may really creep Stef out at this point. Your friendly gesture may be interpreted as a desperate move. My two cents: Let the universe untangle this web on its own.

We all get ourselves into messes. Some you just can’t fix. Maybe this is one of them.

lori

Hi Sanguine,

Thanks for your clarifications. I understand your frustration. You miss your ex-girlfriend’s friendship and want things back to where they were before the misunderstanding. I’ve already shared with you my feelings about that. So instead of trying to convince you that the falling out with your ex may actually be a blessing in disguise, I’ll agree with Inky: Let some time pass. There’s a good chance your ex misses the friendship too.

Hope it all works out!

Yes, anita, very well said. Thank you. I do believe there’s a difference between critical thinking (where we learn from the past to make better choices in the future) and repetitive, circular thinking (where we constantly second-guess ourselves, replay our failures and the failures of others, worry about tomorrow, etc.). So, yes, maybe throughout the day it’s ok to take a peek inside those two shops (as, like you say, we shouldn’t and can’t always avoid them), browse a bit perhaps, but not to stay too long? And when it’s hard getting out, moving from our thoughts to our senses will help. During meditation, however, in my case I have found that I need to do my best to avoid those two shops altogether.

Hi Melissa,

I understand how hard this is for you and how much pain you’re in. I agree with anita. I don’t think you should tell his sister. I have 3 brothers and enjoyed developing close friendships with their girlfriends, and even maintained some of those friendships after the breakups. But if an ex-girlfriend had taken me aside to tell me my brother had cheated on her, I probably would not have wanted to maintain contact with her. I love my brothers and it would hurt me to hear that news.

I go back and forth on this: I’m not sure you should even tell your ex-boyfriend that you know he cheated. Before doing anything, be clear on your intention. Is it to make yourself feel better or to make your ex feel worse? What if telling him doesn’t provide you with the peace of mind you think it will and ultimately makes a bigger mess. Maybe you should take the high road and leave it alone, as hard as it is. What’s done is done. I know you are hurt and angry that he got away with cheating, but eventually you will be ok. I know you will.

I hope one day I’ll find my porpoise. 😉

Dear Anita,

Thank you. Your description of meditation has been very helpful to me the past few days. I’m dealing with a problem and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve thought it through so thoroughly from every possible angle, and I keep doing it again and again. It’s exhausting. I’ve needed a way out, a one-step instruction on how to get out. Your words “..move your attention from thinking to sensing” are really helping me. I was driving yesterday and instead of rehashing through my endless negative thoughts, I recalled your words. So I rolled down the windows and felt the warm air and sun on my skin. I noticed the white clouds in the blue sky. I smelled the air and listened to the car engine and tires rolling on the concrete. For about 20 seconds I was using only my senses and had no thoughts. I had zero thoughts for about 20 seconds!! I’ve read so much — everything Eckhart Tolle has written and so many of the others too. I know all about the ego and the “pain-body”. So your words are something I’ve read before and have known for a long time. But I’ve gotten so caught up in all the extra information that I don’t need. When it really comes down to it, all a person needs to escape his or her suffering is a simple one-step instruction like the one you’ve posted: move your attention from thinking to sensing. I know I have a lot of work to do to get from 20 seconds of freedom to, say, a whole minute (lol), but darn-it I’m motivated! I believe it’s really the only way to end suffering.

Thank you, Anita!

Lori