Great question Amyra! I definitely noticed this was true for me. Dealing with uncomfortable feelings was the hardest thing for me when I first started recovering from my eating disorder. I always wanted to *do* something with my feelings–in other words, avoid just feeling them.

But it’s like the saying goes: the only way out is through. In coming face to face with the void, I learned a lot about what hurt me, why, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do in life. I also learned that two things caused most of my suffering: the belief that there was something wrong with me, and the fear that other people would see it and reject me.

In releasing these beliefs, I feel less of a need to run from my feelings, because they no longer stem from a deep fear of inferiority. And they no longer make me feel powerless. That’s not to say they don’t hurt; it’s just that I now realize I can work through them. Feeling them won’t break me because I no longer feel so broken.

This is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately because my sister has interstitial cystitis (a bladder disease) and she recently got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I know it’s really hard for her, both because of the symptoms, and because other people can’t see them. I think it’s wonderful to aim for positivity and gratitude, but like you said, it’s not always easy, and you definitely deserve to be gentle with yourself if some days are harder than others. I know I want that for my sister!

Hi Eleanor and Hannah!

I haven’t had a situation where I felt like I had to completely end a relationship with a family member, but I’ve had different times when I realized it was best to create distance and change my relationship–at least in the short-term. It’s definitely wasn’t easy, and I went through many periods when I grieved over what I never had or had to change. But I knew that I could never take care of myself if I didn’t step away from unhealthy relationships and situations.

I also found that creating space without towing a hard line helped a great deal. In other words, I never had a conversation along the lines of, “Don’t call me ever again!” I simply changed how and how often I engaged with those people. By doing that, I kept the door open for things to improve–and over time, they did.

Sending love to you both,

Lori

I love this idea! I think most religions revolve around the same basic principles. It occurred to me when I was younger that I followed the specific religion I did because that’s what I was born into. If I had born into a family with a different faith, I would have believed in that. Since faith implies not knowing, I think all we can ever know for sure is that we want to uphold those core ideas that most religions have in common: love, forgiveness, and kindness, to name a few–and that implies not merely tolerating but actually embracing people of other faiths.