Hi Clare,
I am really sorry that you feel so lonely. I also have suffered with loneliness, but I am doing a lot better. I think what has helped me more than anything else is learning to love myself and enjoy my own company. I love myself by encouraging myself, praising myself, noticing my strengths and talents, accepting myself, being patient with myself, and being kind to myself. I also really get into the things that I do when I am alone, like cooking, reading, writing, researching things on-line, and spending time in nature.

I also honor my need to have interactions with others. Those needs are very real. I realize that sometimes I have to take the first step by reaching out to others and noticing them. I also am learning to ask for what I need in relationships. If I need a hug or a listening ear, I just ask someone for that. I allow myself to be vulnerable with others by letting them know how I feel. When I do that, it allows others to be compassionate, loving, and understanding, and to reach out to me. I am learning to make myself visible in these ways. You are doing that as well by writing what you wrote on this site.

I hope you will feel the love of others being directed at you. You are loveable and worth noticing! Things will get better!

Much Love,

Lori

Hi Reeva,
You are not alone. I am struggling with feeling alone and I appreciate you sharing that you feel that way too. But, we are one, even in our loneliness. I go to a mental health center where there are some therapist that are very new age and one in particular is a practicing Buddhist. My therapist is very new age and reads many of the same authors that I do. She really believes in me and I see her every week. I have been going to therapist for years and this center is so different than anything I’ve experienced before. I encourage you to “shop” for a therapist that lines up with your personal beliefs. It can help. May you know you are loved. Let us love ourselves with great compassion and kindness and say things to ourselves that feel good and do things that bring us joy and peace.

I want to share my story about releasing traditional beliefs about God. I became a quote “Christian” at age 16 and held traditional beliefs about God before that as well. At age 18, I married a man who became a Baptist preacher and we were married for almost 23 years. I believed people were going to hell if they didn’t accept Jesus Christ as their savior and I believed God was an entity that I had to supplicate for things and my status in eternity was dependent upon how good of a Christian life that I lived. Church services were about preaching us in to feeling guilty and unworthy. We judged ourselves and everyone else.
About five years ago, I discovered “New Thought” and Buddhist beliefs, which felt very good. I began to embrace my own power as a creator and see that we are all one, as God. Judgement was replaced by love and understanding for myself and others and the separation that I felt from others began to dissolve. But, letting go of the belief in hell was the hardest thing to release. It meant that I had been wrong for all those years. Later, I realized there is no right and wrong or good and evil. After about a year of maintaining my new beliefs, I was still holding on to the belief in hell and Jesus being a Savior for our sins.
Then, one day I had a break-through and I have never had a moment of doubt since then. I was out of work at the time and was going to food banks for free food. The food was usually distributed by churches. As I was waiting this particular day to receive my food donation, one of the church workers put on a demonstration for myself and another person who was waiting. She cut out figures of the the crosses from folded up paper, as she told the story of the crucifixion and how Jesus died for “our sins” and that if we didn’t accept his as our savior, we would go to hell. Then, she asked us if we went to hell, whose fault would it be. The woman with me said, “Our fault”. I had an amazing moment of clarity as I saw so clearly how the gospel message is one of fear. I could see that the woman sharing the message was sharing it because she was afraid we would go to hell and that if she didn’t tell us, it would be her “fault”.
I am so glad I am free from the fearful and guilt-based beliefs of traditional Christianity. I do believe Christ came to humanity for reasons other than Christianity proposes. I believe he came to teach us about the abundant life and that we are light and powerful creators. The Bible says, “Let this mind be in you, which was in Christ Jesus, who thought it not robbery to be equal with God”. He was crucified because he said he was God. There it is, as crystal clear as it can be. We are One with God. We are all equal to God. All of us together make up God. And, we have the power to do miracles just like Christ did.
The Bible has some great truths in it that were written from inspired authors. And, some of it is written from the ego nature that is fearful. We get to choose love or a God who punishes people in a burning hell. My choice has brought me the fruits of the spirit that the bible talks about, “love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, allowing, faith, and self-control.