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andreeaParticipant
Thank you Katie.
It feels from another world. We’ve been through a lot of issues and long conversations and disagreements but unless its like him, its not ok.
He always felt that he is the older one, now I know why, he’s 22 years older and he feels superior to a young woman of 24.He came in a moment where I was very vulnerable, ended a relationship that was mostly in my head, with a guy who was very evasive and confusing but for which I had the biggest admiration and love.
He was the opposite, very confident, always telling me very directly that he likes and wants to be with me. He has a big personality and it made me feel a lot of times that he was very experienced with women.
I had my doubts but I didn’t want to ofend him. The conversation was good, unless I confronted him or acused him of anything.
When you are in the relationship is very hard to see all this things, that I had everything in my face and I didn’t want to see it.
Just the other day he was here planning to come back and showing me love and affection. So that after 2 days to go crazy and block me like he doesn’t care about anything?
I don’t know, maybe I caught him by surprise, he clearly didn’t expected me to call his college. He told me’ keep trying. In America it doesn’t work that way. They don’t give you the info’. He never expected me to have the proof. But I guess I got the truth my way, from him I will never get it. Very disappointing.andreeaParticipantI was hoping to get some answers and a reason, at least a confirmation of what I found out, but nothing. I got nothing.
How can a person lye like that and when confronted with all the proof still not admit it, just blame me for finding out?
A person that always said about themselves that they admit when they are wrong, someone who is supposed to be mature? A person who was always putting everything in a logical way. Logical would be for him to have no reason to be upset about, he got caught, he never planned on telling me. He planned to move here or to start a family together, is he delusional? I would have found out eventually.It is very hard to move on without an explanation, even though I would have never forgiven him for living a lie for 5 months.
I don’t understand, I need some help, I need an opinion.
andreeaParticipantHello again,
Just wanted to share the end of my love story.
He came to see me and it was all good, he deleted his profile account before.But something else happened. I go to add him on LinkedIn and I notice that it says that he started college in 1990, and he told me that he was born in 1980, which I asked him again. So that means that he started collage at 10. I ask him about it and he told me that this is not his account, that he didn’t put in there, but there was his picture and all other info was correct, unless that he was VP at a company, so he tied it up, thats no true, this means nothing is true. So he starts saying that I am always trying to check on him and find something wrong, and its all my fault, he never lied about it, his profile is not his.
I got so angry and I started looking further. I found another 2 pages with the same info, one was from his high school which he started in 1984. The picture looked as it was him, and the town and the name was the same. So now I thought he might be born in 1970. But he kept saying like i have no proof and almost laughing in my face that the profile is not real and i have nothing.
So i called his college and I asked if he attended the school in the years on the CV and if it was that major. I dont know how i did it but in fact they looked it up. They asked for his birthday and i said it was 1970, because thats what i thought, but they said they have another date. I almost thought i am crazy by now, that he was honest, but no, they say its 1968.there is no possible way in which the college could have lied to me, everything checks, his name, address, college and years, picture in high school, i kept looking and hoping it wasnt him, but it was.
When i confronted him about it he never denied it, he kept saying that i have to find reasons to hate him, and that he never did this to me, and if thats what i think, then i should just break up with him. And if im finding reasons i dont need one, he is gonna break up with me because he is tired of me checking him up(the story with the website).
I just wanted to know, and he didnt tell me so i kept digging until i found it. It hurts so much to be right and to confront him, he didnt even had the courage of admiting it, instead he implied that im crazy and that no one does this.
I never looked in someone’s phone, or go digging without a reason, but when I’m lied to like this, he really thought that I’m stupid and that I’m inventing things, that in America they cant give info, but they confirmed it to me.
I would have thought that a man at 45 years old would have the courage to openly admit that he lied, as he always said that he says when he is wrong and he is not afraid of admitting. He lied to me about 12 years, i had my suspicions from the begining, but i didnt really looked into it, i thought its a couple of years, but not 12!
And here I am, alone again, hurt, when 2 days ago he was here saying how much he loves me and that he will be back.
He didnt give me anything , no reason, no appology, no truth, just blaming me that i went too far with it. Now he blocked me on my phone.
Isnt someone entitled to check when your intuition is telling you that you are being lied to, how can he get upset? because he got caught? And especially because i found something, it wasnt for anything.
andreeaParticipantThank you all for taking the time to answer to me.
I know about the mixed signals, we have been talking and fighting about that subject a lot.
I confronted him about it and tried to explain that it really bothers me that he is on the website and he said now that he will update his profile and he will write there that he found someone.
He will be coming in one week to visit me for a few days and now he asked me if i would move there to be with him.
Maybe we should just talk then, face to face and clear things out.
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