I’m going through something like you are, Chermich. In my case, my ex, I’ve discovered, is a narcissist, which is much more insidious than it sounds. I’ve been researching it the last couple of months. They lack the ability to experience emotions, including love. They can’t form a bond with anyone. They lie. Here’s a description, you might want to investigate the personality disorder, too. It was comforting for me to know it wasn’t anything i did or didn’t do, it was “simply” that my ex does not have the capability, to love anybody, can not,have a normal relationship with anyone. No feelings, no conscience…. And the disorder is more prevalent than I ever imagined.

“Some people diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by unwarranted feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy. A definite characteristic of a narcissistic sociopath is a tendency to view others not as fellow human beings, but rather as tools or means to an end. If certain other people are deemed unable to further the narcissistic sociopath’s given agenda, they are normally cast aside. People diagnosed with this type of personality disorder usually do not have boundaries when it comes to manipulating and victimizing others if doing so will lead to their own benefit. This behavior trait can usually make romantic relationships with a narcissistic sociopath particularly destructive emotionally, mentally, and often financially. Many former spouses or partners of these individuals report that recovering from the relationship can take a long time.”