dear Anita ;

thank you so much. I really feel so much better for Some reason, maybe I needed to get it out.
mom generally a really stubborn and angry and passionate person, and it can be good but it can also be bad..

especially when it comes to love, if I’m putting something in I’m gonna Pour my soul into it. I want to be with him. And I know I’m a good person and what I was doing was NEVER. To use him or to hurt him: because That’s the reason I hated myself so much.

I think to any of the girls/guys that go through this, I think that it’s important to not be mad at yourself. And getting advice will help. But you have to trust yourself and your own intuition.

i had this feeling like I wanted to breakup. But I still liked him, and cared for him; and didn’t want to lose him completely. I’d say that it’s most likely because you’re getting into something that you aren’t ready for. And are feeling trapped.

and I think if he truly loves you then he will wait. And understand, and I got lucky that he felt the exact same way for me. Being 16 and living an adult relationship will strain you. I want to go out and be able to flirt and have fun without feeling guilty. But I’m not interested in anyone else either. Imagining that makes me feel sick. And still for some reason; guilty.

especially everything I went through, but for me I was so scared of the thought. When it popped up in my head I was so scared of it. And I would get an adrenaline rush every time I felt it. And my stomach would drop, and I’d sweat, emotions can really take you ok physically. If any girls read this who are going through the same thing.

if you still like him then don’t just give up. Slow down expierence the world, and what is meant for you will always come back to you. Love is weird. But trust the universe. I’m still going through this so I can’t really tell people exactly what to do, other then just take a breath. Put your phone down. Tell him you still care and love him but you need to take a break, and actually take it.

its okay to message someone you aren’t with. I learned this. You can check up on them without having to talk about your relationship.

anita I am still going to talk to you often if that’s okay with you. I actually read the forum that you commented on and I felt so happy you gave me so much hope ! And then I was watching this show. And I had seen it was someone in the shows birthday, and her name was Anita, they had big pink ballon letters spelling out “A N I TA” and all of a sudden I knew that I had to talk to you!!! I think that you didn’t tell me exactly what to do but you guided me along the way! Even though we’ve never met you know me better then most of my friends. You know some stories I’ve never told anyone, and your guidance helped me so much. But if I didn’t really dig deep and take time then I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Even when my stubbornness was probably annoying you you still took the time and patience to always reply and calm me down because you’re just a guardian angel !!? I love your approach to things.  And I’m happy to make u smile a smile of relief that I’ve sort of came to some what of a awakening?

if anyone reads this it’ll be okay: no matter what happens time heals all wounds. It’ll be okay: and AGAIN. What’s meant for you, will always find it’s way back to you: promise ?

I am definitely going to listen; today I felt so overwhelmed and I messaged him. We had a long talk and he told me that he still loves me: but he knows that so much stuff has happend so it’s not good to be in a relationship anymore. For now, he said he doesn’t want to have to talk every day. But he said it would be nice if We checked up on each other every once and awhile. It’s clear that I did like him considering how I reacted to us breaking up. But I just feel this block. And I have a feeling it has everything to do with, moving too fast, and engaging in a sexual relationship that I’m not ready for. We want to build a friendship. Because we never did. I have to find peace in the fact that not every relationship will workout. And that you can’t always get what you want. But that pressure is gone. I just feel relaxed. And it felt good to get out what happened to me. I still haven’t got over it: but I’m trying my hardest. But yeah no relationship now. I don’t even want to think about being in a relationship or feeling so much pressure to only talk to one guy. I just want to feel free like I can live my teenage life without always being attached to someone. But if life works itself out the way I want it to; hell be with me when we’re older and more mature.

He did confront him. He yelled at him to never talk to me or come near me one time when I was visiting my brothers soccer game.

Thank you for always talking to me. Even though it may sound dumb: when you answer I feel a little less alone, it feels like a therapist. You always say the proper things. And fills me with some peace, are you a therapist in real Life?

Dear Anita

I haven’t told the full story to anyone. But here it goes.

My step dad was big. He had a large stomach. And me and my mom often joked around with him about it. But me hum and my mom had this thing where we would all always cuddle..

One time my mom was at work and I was comfortable enough to lay in bed with him and watch a movie. And he started to big spoon me.. I didn’t feel uncomfortable cause it was pretty normal for us. But my mom was always there….

Anyways he scooted closer and started to rub my belly.. And slowly got to my underwear. And started to touch me. In my head I was wondering if this was normal. I told myself it was. But something inside me tols me to get up. But i was so scared to. After a few seconds.. I said “I’m tired I’m going to bed. I was a little girl. Still with pigtails and carrying around stuffed animals.

I had been thinking about it all week. I knew something was off. So eventually, I worked it up to tell my mom. I told her exactly what happens and her response was, “are you sure lisa; because if so, we have to tell the police” that terrified me. So after that I told myself. No mom I’m sorry we were just cuddling. And she said okay love go to sleep..

And so I did. I always thought my mom had my best interest at heart. So I knew it wasn’t that big of a deal. Or maybe it wasn’t real. Or maybe it never even happend and if I asked him he would never remember. So really for the rest of my life until a year ago. I never ever thought about it.

Then one day. My dad opened up to me about being raped so young. And I told him about my earlier childhood memories. Which had been that. And he flipped out. He was so mad at my mom. But i told him there’s no point in being mad at the dead.

He only ever touched me once. Maybe my mom talked to him about it. But once I grew up i realized that either way. He should never have been cuddling with a little girl that age. There’s a lot of things in my life that I haven’t reslly dealt with. But my two main ones are having an abortion. And that.

My dad hates him. And wants him dead. And yes I do have to see and talk to him sometimes. And itd uncomfortable and awkward but normal. He even calls me beautiful all the time. But overall he acts normal. Like he doesn’t remember at all. Which is another reason why I felt like it was all in my head.

Lisa:(

Also, my main problem right now is that boy. Even though that sounds dumb.

but it’s this feeling like sometimes I’ll miss him so much and want to be with him again and imagining him with other girls makes my stomach turn and I get sad, but I also get hopeful by telling myself if he’s meant to be for me, then he’ll come back in some fashion. I’ll have Him again.

but then there’s this other side that says, if we broke up who he’s with is none of my business and I can’t control that anymore, and I didn’t want to be with him while I was with him, and I’m just hurting him so I should leave him alone

and then another side of me says, if you truly love someone you wouldn’t have to work so hard to love them it should be so easy, and you should just be happy to be around them; but when I imagine Us having sex, it doesn’t turn me on anymore lool.

and then there’s another side of me that says, well it’s not up to me anymore he broke up with me for the last time so it’s not my choice anymore.

and when I feel the good feeling. I feel amazing. And when I feel the bad feeling, I feel how I’m feeling right now. Like shit.

we haven’t talked in almost four days. And not talking to him, does help. But I thought breaking up, would make me feel better. But it really doesn’t. At all. I don’t feel more free. I just feel confused and heart broken.

breaking up showed me I really do like him. But there’s just something that I can’t put my finger on. I also have this feeling if possession over him when I imagine him talking to anyone else I get a knot in my chest, I know we only just broke up so I’m still gonna he sad but, he’s all I think about when I’m not distracting myself. I just want someone to give me the answer.  I know I’m young, but I’m not gonna give up until I figure this out,

Dear Anita:

It’s currently 3:17am,  I woke up and  my mind just started rushing thinking about him. I was just thinking about how much I love him. And I wanted to text him so bad.

But i didn’t, I forced myself  not too. The last time I talked to him.. we were talking about the things we were changing about ourselves. And he had told me he’s making good money, and he had quit smoking.

It hurt me to see his growth. And noticed I hadn’t had any of my own. Remember how I told you we were going to do this one more time ?.. well he changed his mind the next day and asked to be friends, and I said yes.

And then he changed his mind on doing that TOO, and now we haven’t talked in a day. I miss him so much, I usually do by the time a day of not talking passes, but I know the only way to heal a broken heart is time.

But all I can imagine over and over is him with a new girl. Or him posting on social media and me knowing that I have to ignore it.

I feel like I don’t want to be with him at thus current point in my life anyways. And even if we did REALLY get back together we would breakup within a week. Because we just haven’t healed.

I’m scared to live life without him, I’ve been flirting with guys but when all of it dies down; and we aren’t texting anymore. All I can think about is him

And I know he’s not talking.to any girls because he’s better than that. He’s gonna take time to heal before he gives anyone the time of day. And thay hurts even more that nobody he gets with will be temporary. I miss my mommy. My heart aches.

I wish I met him at a different time. We’ve been through so much but its so hard for me to let go. Anita I know you give wisdom but I’m asking for more advice in this situation, what do you think I’m doing wrong, how can I help myself feel better?

I’m not saying I haven’t been getting out of bed or eating or sleeping or showering because I have but. It’s times like these. Where my phone, or my TV or anything I’m doing can’t distract me and I just sit here and think and winder what he’s up too.

I haven’t even gone a whole two days withiut talking to him so, by tomorrow I will I guess.. thanks for always answering me.i reallt have nobody to talk to

Lisa