Hi Sister,
If you are unable to get counseling, then please involve a family member or someone you trust. What you described happened to my sister. He was emotionally abusive and controlling. He dominated her financially. When she expressed that she wanted to stand on her own two feet, he left her, poor and with kids. You have to able to stand on your own two feet, sister. And if someone loves you, they will stand WITH you, NOT on you.
You’re not doomed. You’re reaching out because you understand there is something wrong here. People here can tell you to do this or that. But it is you who will make that decision and you alone. Find the support system you need to help you get through the consequences of your decision. And that you recognize that there is something wrong with this picture is a VERY important thing. Don’t underestimate its importance.
And if it adds anything to what I’ve said above, I am a guy. And my sister made it through. She felt bad for seeking her family’s support because they had warned her so many times about the guy she was with. But it took her several years to see it for herself. And when she was at her lowest and alone, the family was there to pick her up. It wasn’t easy. But it was part of the healing process and made her relationship grow stronger with her family. This is just an example of an experience I know of. I hope it provides you with some guidance.
Sincerely