My whole life I’ve been rejected by girls. Up until now, I’ve yet to find my first girlfriend. There was a point in time when I was very self concious about this, thinking how ridiculous I am, 21 years old and still have never had anyone like me. My self confidence plumited. Soon after whenever I could feel myself falling for someone, I can already feel the pain of rejection way before I even tell them about my feelings.

One day I found myself having a wonderful connection with a girl. She was incredibly beautiful. I thought about her every single day since I’ve met her. Low self-esteem aside I decided to go for her anyways. I decided to tell her I’m falling for her. She kindly turned me down, yet that wasn’t the last time I tried. I thought if I just believe hard enough, envision it in my mind over and over again, that eventually it will work out for me and she will say yes to me. We are still friends and so I had manage to get her alone with me at one point and I tried to kiss her hoping it will convince her of my love and she will love me back. She still turned me down, explaining to me that we are just friends.

I was torn. I thought life was unfair, that no matter what I do I will never find a partner in life. Life was pointless, it was so heart breaking, I even considered jumping off a cliff. I punch my car’s steering wheel over and over till I sprained my wrist, crying and shouting to god how unfair he is to me.

From then on, I had left myself isolated from people. Not interested in socializing with anyone. Of course this left me bored and with vast amount of free time. I put all that time into school. I read books in my extra time, learned extra skills that could help me in school work, found websites like tiny buddha, scott h young, zen habbits, and many other things. I also found that I had a passion for business.

Today, I’m a 4.0 student, transfering to UC Berkeley, started my own blog site, and despite my choice of isolation I still ended up with great relationships around me including families, friends, and coworkers. I’ve never felt this happy my entire life.

Later I realize, what was wrong with me the entire time. All this time, I had fantasized about having a life like the romantic movies and it distracted me from finding true happiness in life. I had discovered how I had lived in ignorance for most of my life, that there was more to life than finding that beautiful woman that I thought would make my life complete. I feel a happiness that is different; I’m actually living a happy life rather than thinking I would happy for the hope of one day obtaining the girl of my dreams.

Looking back now, countless rejections is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Strangely enough, I thank everyone I had met who left me broken hearted. If it wasn’t for them I would still be as disillusioned and ignorant as I was in the past, I would have never found my true purpose in life, and I would have never lived to my full potential.

My point is, sometimes we just need to look at our situation as clearly as possible. Is it really as bad as we feel it to be? Or am I just letting my emotions amplify all these little challenges? Is it necessary to spend my time wallowing over this? Or are there other options I can do, other worlds I can explore?

There is no point in being miserable, IT’S JUST LIFE, you should strive to spend it as wisely as possible, with joy and happiness. Know that you chose what your state of mind is, yes you cant control your emotions, but you can control what effects them. For example, after my rejection, I made sure to stay away from socializing for a while, got off facebook, deleted all the pictures out of my phone with her, because I knew if I don’t take the time to face my feelings and fears by myself I would never be able to handle it again the next time it confronts me.

My friend, remember that you are wonderful person capable of wonderful things in life. I wish you the best!

http://www.lesterdc.com

Thanks Cristian,

Any words that are spoken from the heart are useful words wisdom

For most of my life I had doubted myself. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a family who encourage self doubt as a result until I turned 20 I was still living with them with a constant voice in my head that says “don’t fool yourself you can’t do it”. I could not get a job because after I was denied once, I had quit, thinking it affirms what the voice in my head was saying. I wanted to get the best education possible, but just like my job search I had given up before progress can be seen.

Last year I decided to abandon all of that. I told myself if this is all life has to offer me then I might as well die trying to get out of it. So I moved out of my parents house, attended the best community college there is in United States(#1 City College Santa Barbara City College) and decided to start my journey from the very start. I have no money nor support from my parents I just tackled life head on.

It was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I had found so much more meaning in my life. I wake up every single day with overwhelming drive to achieve my goals. Fast forward to today one year later, I currently have a 4.0 GPA, starting my own blog site, and developed very strong relationships I had never had. I will soon have a job and be able to support myself independently. But most important of all, the voice in my head that says “I can’t do it”, have been replaced with “I can, and I will”.

I will be homeless over this summer because it’s summer vacation and there is no financial aid over the summer but to me it’s all okay. I know that this will only be temporary and I will get through it no matter what I have to go through. I know my dreams will eventually come true.

I mention this because this is the basis of the following advice I’m going to give you. To accept and love yourself you must make regular efforts every single day to make it so. It won’t happen over night, you have to build it over time. I have never been more scared in my life than moving out of my parents house, but as I said I was willing to die for the chance of achieving my goal. The same is true for accepting and loving yourself, you must fully commit to it and let go of all the fears that come from it. Instead face the challenges that come from it like depression or self-doubt.

I will not answer your three questions because I believe if you search within yourself, and really dig deep, you yourself knows the answer in the first place. Stay strong my friend, remember that you are great and wonderful just the way you are and capable of wonderful things in this life.

http://www.lesterdc.com