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July 9, 2013 at 12:23 pm #38277
LesterParticipantMatt, thank you, I think you have just knocked down one of my army of “deep questions I don’t know how to ask”. That there are noble desires and non-noble desires. The difference between my desire and the desire of buddha for example is that the buddha “desires” to end suffering which is a noble desire and one that leads to betterment of others, while my desire only seeks pleasure me or rather my idea of myself.
It confuses me that abandonment of desire is preached because it is still on the basis of the desire to end suffering, but perhaps with the noble desires in the equation it makes a little more sense. Perhaps the desire preached to be abandoned are the non-noble desires.
Thank you John and Matt, I really enjoyed this conversation!
July 9, 2013 at 10:02 am #38273LesterParticipantMy why? I don’t actually know myself, maybe I just want to understand this world through experience rather than just theorithecal concepts being told to me. Maybe I want riches to see what it is like first hand to buy anything I desire. Maybe I want to experience sex with a beautiful girl to feel what its like when dopamine rushes wildly around my neurons. Maybe I want to travel the world see and understand different cultures to see if it feels just as great as my imaginations. Maybe I want to leave a legacy because my selfish ego wants to just as great as the previous greats of the world. Maybe I just have the innate need to “know”.
But my why is not important… the point is desiring things is essential part of our life. Now whether it causes us suffering or not is another topic but the overall point is that desiring promotes changes to the world that leads to evolution and growth.
July 9, 2013 at 8:26 am #38262LesterParticipantI think I’m being misunderstood here. I don’t mean clinging to specific vision that despite what my physical reality’s feedback is telling me. If I want to fly, I’m not going to jump over and over again until I achieve flight, I would get into an airplane.
I propose to give in to our desires and cravings and take action towards them until we syncronize with what physical surroundings allows. And for what its worth reality is a vague concept – what I mean is that, if people gave up the idea that men are not capable of flight then we wouldn’t have invented the airplane, or if people gave up the idea of using electricity for power then this conversation would have never taken place. All the things that we enjoy and take for granted today are all provoked by peoples desires and cravings – their visions.
And John, modesty, humility, peace, and equanimity are only realized after a revolution. If there were no revolution there would be no such ideas. So craving and desire still is responsible for both some of the many ingredients for evolution and growth.
And the fact that I desire to be rich have provoked me to post this question here allowing interesting conversations that expands my horizon about the topic.
By the way, thank you guys for your kind and logical comments. I wish to explore this topic much deeper so please continue the thread.
July 8, 2013 at 6:42 pm #38226LesterParticipantI understand but how do we really know for sure that fantasy is bad?
Its true the bad thing about being a dreamer is that it leads to disappointment, heartbreak, depression, etc. But the best thing about being a dreamer is also that it leads to disappointment, heartbreak, depression, etc. I say this because from my experience, the life experiences that have given me the most valuable lessons are the experiences that left completely and utterly broken, however for them I consider myself very very lucky because it made me the person I am today. And that’s my point, is that I have trouble accepting desire and craving is bad because if it weren’t for these element of our life we would still be premitive monkeys making bows and arrows. Desire and craving leads to evolution and growth.
I don’t mean to rude but john your idea of happiness is too ordinary for me. I’d rather live in loneliness and despair if that is all life has to offer me. =|
July 8, 2013 at 5:47 pm #38220LesterParticipantJuly 6, 2013 at 9:54 am #38063LesterParticipanthahaha Thank you guys for your kind comments. Yea, I guess I was just so inspired by her beauty I had to tell the world about it. I just feel so fortunate to be alive and witness all these wonderful things in life. I haven’t had a crush in so long, it feels great to feel it again with my newfound more wisdomful self
June 20, 2013 at 8:30 pm #37247LesterParticipantTai, there is no help to be given because there is nothing wrong with you. It’s normal for teens to be in a journey of self-discovery. The fact that you identify the downsides of self-doubt is part of that journey. Know that none of us can tell you exactly what the answer you are looking for, and you wouldn’t want that. You live your own experiences and you feel your own emotions, and the only person who can decode all these confusing puzzles in your life is you. It’s ok if it doesn’t happen overnight, just make sure to keep educating yourself not just in school but in life experience most especially and someday the answers you seek will be right in front of you.
My friend you are a gift of this world, meant to live and lead a wonderful life. I wish you the best!
I also suggest reading my blog on positive and negative thinking. This may get you started.
June 18, 2013 at 6:44 pm #37168LesterParticipantPeter, thank you for taking the time to read the post.
As for your questions, first of all it I would say breaking the cycle is unnecessary. Whichever cycle you fall into is just an experience, it’s the journey. As I remember correctly the Buddha experience being rich and virtually spoiled of all the materials things in life and also experienced being deprived of the most basic necessities of life. This is how he was able to educate himself of the nature of emotions and prescribe a treatment for it. Both negative and positive parts of life are nothing more than just education, and that is where the true beauty of existence lies.
For the second, whichever mode of thinking you have positive or negative IS your reality. You are already facing it no matter what mode of thinking you have. Knowing this and how it effects your overall quality of life, it is advisable to CHOOSE the positive side, because of the benefits it yields as I’ve mentioned in my blog.
Lester
June 14, 2013 at 10:22 pm #36909LesterParticipantThe truth of the matter, there are no tips and tricks in terms on making you think better. The truth is Emotions are the driving force to what you are thinking and you must first learn to understand your emotions by acquiring more wisdom in your life before you can control what you think. As for acquiring wisdom, it requires time and patience. I had gone through a terrible situation in life and for most of my life it left me depressed. It wasn’t until I confronted my depression that I began to think in a much more calm and collected manner.
June 13, 2013 at 10:06 pm #36877LesterParticipantI understand your panic and anxiety Frank, I know how tough life can be.
The fact of the matter is nobody knows that forward is for you, not I and currently not even you. In the end, you are the only one who can answer that. I understand there are so many fears and anxiety going on through your mind right now, many pressures and expectations to be met. Understand that we all have these challenges we go through in life, old or young, rich or poor there are these challenges out there for you to overcome.
Now I understand you have called me on my cell phone, and in the little conversation we had I sense you are suffering from depression. I can give you a suggestion on what forward could be. Right now, the thing you should focus on is beating this depression. Focus on it for now, this is your foundation. Don’t think about anything else, this is where you must start. I agree start over from the very begining and this is where it is. For now, don’t think about the bills, don’t think about living with your parents, don’t think about other peoples perceptions, I dare say it but right now let go of the worry for your daughter. You will come back to these things as soon as you handle yourself and emotions.
Emotions is where it starts, you first have to have a grip of who you are, what you value, and believe. Once you got that settled then you can begin to build your life one step the time. So go out there focus on understanding your emotions controlling to turn into an overwhelming passion instead, and start from there.
My friend, you are capable of a lot more things than you think. Email me at bboyjacks@yahoo.com if you need to speak more about your situation, I’m willing to help you.
June 13, 2013 at 8:35 pm #36874LesterParticipantFrank, you are a brave brave man for facing these things and taking it upon your self to carry it.
Here is what I wrote in other post…
I’m currently homeless at the moment. I’m living in my car right now waiting for school to start this fall on august. I work part time but I don’t have enough money to afford rent. I choose to eat instead. I’m currently trying to apply for another part time job but so far no bite.
You see last year I made the decision to move out of my parents house. I decided to leave the safety and comfort of my parents house to go out here and pursue my dreams. Yes as a result, I’m currently homeless, and yes as a result I’m currently broke. But you know what? I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Because although my progress is very little, I know I’m going towards the right direction. Although my improvements are as little as an inch each day, I know that that inch will become a mile someday and I’m willing to go through anything, survive any trials that gets in the way. I’m laying each brick of my life one day at the time. Every morning I get up excited to lay the brick of my life as perfectly as possible because I know, and I can clearly envision it now, my layers of brick of life will someday turn into an indestructable wall of life. It will happen and I will do it.
Every single day, is a painful rejection i go through. I’ve literary talked to over 80 employers(I’m counting) and so far no one has another part time job for me. Every time I come to work, I try very hard to hide the fact that I’m homeless, and I swallow my pride each day. It is painful yes, but the rewards in the future more than compensates for this.
Every week my parents and siblings calls me telling me I’m crazy, that I should go back to safety before I hurt myself, that I’m being delusional. But I can taste, feel, see, smell, touch my goals and I know I will be there so no matter what is happening now, it’s just a small obstacle……
The point is life hits very hard. Sometimes you get knock down and it feels like you can’t get back up. But that’s where its most important. That’s where you must give it everything you got to get one more time and fight. That is where the next stage of your evolution happens. It’s not easy I know but if you give up then that is worse than failing. You must find a way to turn this challenge, mold it into something that will change you to become a better you. If you get pass that, then you will be unstoppable.
I know you can fight this Frank, and I know you have everything you need to reach a level higher than you’ve ever been. All you have to do is decide, and the next step will be clear. I wish you the best of luck!
June 12, 2013 at 8:16 pm #36815LesterParticipantJason first of all know that you are a great man for doing what you believe in.
I’m currently homeless at the moment. I’m living in my car right now waiting for school to start this fall on august. I work part time but I don’t have enough money to afford rent. I choose to eat instead. I’m currently trying to apply for another part time job but so far no bite.
You see last year I made the decision to move out of my parents house. I decided to leave the safety and comfort of my parents house to go out here and pursue my dreams. Yes as a result, I’m currently homeless, and yes as a result I’m currently broke. But you know what? I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Because although my progress is very little, I know I’m going towards the right direction. Although my improvements are as little as an inch each day, I know that that inch will become a mile someday and I’m willing to go through anything, survive any trials that gets in the way. I’m laying each brick of my life one day at the time. Every morning I get up excited to lay the brick of my life as perfectly as possible because I know, and I can clearly envision it now, my layers of brick of life will someday turn into an indestructable wall of life. It will happen and I will do it.
Every single day, is a painful rejection i go through. I’ve literary talked to over 80 employers(I’m counting) and so far no one has another part time job for me. Every time I come to work, I try very hard to hide the fact that I’m homeless, and I swallow my pride each day. It is painful yes, but the rewards in the future more than compensates for this.
Every week my parents and siblings calls me telling me I’m crazy, that I should go back to safety before I hurt myself, that I’m being delusional. But I can taste, feel, see, smell, touch my goals and I know I will be there so no matter what is happening now, it’s just a small obstacle.
My point is, WHEN YOU HAVE HEART, REJECTION IS NOTHING MORE THAN A NO. When you know what you stand for and know who you really are nobody can put you down. Live by your principles and soon those who disagree with them will not bother you while those you support you will forever be your aquantance.
My friend, all you have to do is believe in yourself, and know what you value at your very core. I wish you the best!
June 11, 2013 at 5:32 pm #36772LesterParticipantemotional mastery is a skill that is developed over time. It’s impossible to master it over night. But if you make the CHOICE every single moment of your life to control your emotions to what you want them to be then you will get better and better to the point of mastery. Not only will this benefit your relationships currently but it will benefit you as a person over all for a lifetime, so it’s very good that you are taking this into serious consideration because the people who are ready to sacrifice who they are for what they will become is the person who will be exposed to the truth.
My friend, you are a wonderful person capable of wonderful things in life, remember that. I wish you the best!
June 10, 2013 at 8:01 pm #36731LesterParticipantYou are not the only one my friend. Know that everyone feels that way at some point of their life.
For most of my life I felt alone. I didn’t have any body to talk to with true honesty. Not even my parents.
My parents are die hard christians and their sense of life just didn’t fit in with me. I tried questioning their fate
one time which broke into a major argument. Since then I just held my opinions to myself and waited till I moved out.When I moved out I realized how lost I was. I struggled to fit in the real world because my entire life consist of
being surrounded with close minded people. I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. I didn’t belong with my family
so I went out in the world thinking I belong somewhere else only to be disappointed. Believe it or not I spent 6 months
talking to only one person and I wouldn’t even consider him a friend, he was my landlord in my apartment. We only talked
about the bills I have to pay every time we talked.Soon after I found myself taking long walks on the beach. It was there that I realized what was wrong. I felt alone because
I viewed everyone as different from myself. I distanced myself from people and I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally and
mentally. I realized that every time I meet a potential friend, I would find a reason why they couldn’t be. I would think
I’m not good enough, or I would see and not accept their flaws, or just plainly label them as different.After that, I realized I am really not alone. I have great neighbor who invites me for lunch every once in a while, I have a great boss
who gives me advice on my life. I have great coworkers whom I work with. I have wonderful classmates who are itching to take me to
bar for the first time. If I really look around me and really see my surroundings, I am actually surrounded by friends, it’s just my own
ego and ignorance that prevents me from seeing them. All I have to do is switch my perception and all of the sudden I have
awaken to the truth.So the point is boredom and loneliness are just an illusion you create for yourself. I’m not saying that they dont exist but what I’m
saying is that with the right thought it can easily be remedied. It’s ok to be bored and lonely, you don’t have to look at it as some horrible
disease you should avoid at all cost. If you are bored and lonely, that is all there is to it sooner or later it will pass.My friend remember the quality your life depends on how you view it. All you have to do is remember that you have an incredible gift being alive, if you realize that, boredom or not, you will appreciate every second of your life. I wish you the best of luck!
June 10, 2013 at 8:00 pm #36730LesterParticipantYou are not the only one my friend. Know that everyone feels that way at some point of their life.
For most of my life I felt alone. I didn’t have any body to talk to with true honesty. Not even my parents.
My parents are die hard christians and their sense of life just didn’t fit in with me. I tried questioning their fate
one time which broke into a major argument. Since then I just held my opinions to myself and waited till I moved out.When I moved out I realized how lost I was. I struggled to fit in the real world because my entire life consist of
being surrounded with close minded people. I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. I didn’t belong with my family
so I went out in the world thinking I belong somewhere else only to be disappointed. Believe it or not I spent 6 months
talking to only one person and I wouldn’t even consider him a friend, he was my landlord in my apartment. We only talked
about the bills I have to pay every time we talked.Soon after I found myself taking long walks on the beach. It was there that I realized what was wrong. I felt alone because
I viewed everyone as different from myself. I distanced myself from people and I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally and
mentally. I realized that every time I meet a potential friend, I would find a reason why they couldn’t be. I would think
I’m not good enough, or I would see and not accept their flaws, or just plainly label them as different.After that, I realized I am really not alone. I have great neighbor who invites me for lunch every once in a while, I have a great boss
who gives me advice on my life. I have great coworkers whom I work with. I have wonderful classmates who are itching to take me to
bar for the first time. If I really look around me and really see my surroundings, I am actually surrounded by friends, it’s just my own
ego and ignorance that prevents me from seeing them. All I have to do is switch my perception and all of the sudden I have
awaken to the truth.So the point is boredom and loneliness are just an illusion you create for yourself. I’m not saying that they dont exist but what I’m
saying is that with the right thought it can easily be remedied. It’s ok to be bored and lonely, you don’t have to look at it as some horrible
disease you should avoid at all cost. If you are bored and lonely, that is all there is to it sooner or later it will pass.My friend remember the quality your life depends on how you view it. All you have to do is remember that you have an incredible gift being alive, if you realize that, boredom or not, you will appreciate every second of your life. I wish you the best of luck!
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 