Hey Pallas,

I’m glad my woeful tale is helping you somewhat aswell, I wish we could meet up in person and be all heartbroken together and curse men forever! lol

Your story is so similar to mine, like you we spent all our free time together. I’m in college and working and so never really had anytime to see him during the week so it would be weekends we would see each other. However, I could of made time for him during the week but I didn’t and it’s a very big regret for me. I took a back seat and let him do all the work so to speak, he would always initiate contact, ask what we were doing, offering to come over etc I was so use to chasing men that I decided this time I was going to change my approach as things never went my way before. I’m not saying that I was cold towards him or anything like that, the opposite but I could of been more available and it’s a lesson I’ll take from this. The weekend he cheated, I hadn’t seen him in nearly 3 weeks, I spent one weekend studying and the next I was due to go visit a friend but had to cancel as I was sick. When I told him I had to cancel my trip, he offered to come over and look after me but I said no as I was too ill and he went out and did what he did (said he was really drunk and sad etc) but he didn’t use that as an excuse. I replay that conversation so much in my mind, why didn’t I just say yes!! Things would be so different, no point thinking like that but it can’t be helped at the moment.

I did forgive him because I do believe he’s a good person and people screw up sometimes, we’re all human. He actually broke up with me before he told me, I was so confused, things had be perfect, it made no sense… we got back together the next day, he said his head was a mess and other stuff and over reacted as we had had a fight the week before. The next day I got a text saying he wasn’t man enough to tell me last night and admitted what he did, I actually felt better as crazy as that sounds, it was just that everything made sense then. But he couldn’t handle the guilt anyway and had to tell me. I really tried to make it work cause he’s been the first person in a long long time that I’ve felt that way about. Since we met, we’ve spoken every single day and I think I miss that the most, I just miss talking to him. Whenever I think about him, my stomach does a flip, the nights are the hardest when I’m alone, it’s not too bad during the day but it’s always there and it honestly feels like I’ll never get over it and nobody will ever compare to him. I remember thinking how lucky I was to find this man and things were finally starting to go my way but I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I kept thinking, this is too good to be true… and it was, maybe I made it happen somehow with that kind of thinking. But yeah I really tired but he became distant and when I confronted him, he begged me not to leave him & said he would change everything so I stayed and then he went cold again and so I ended it but it was mutual really. He said after what he did, his head wasn’t in the relationship anymore. We parted on good terms, although he didn’t deserve that but I did nothing wrong and wanted to walk away gracefully with a smile on my face (although dying inside!!)

Anyway sorry for the rambling! So I’m just a little confused with your story, the girl he was cheating on you with, was that the same girl he met in the bar or someone else? Why would he tell you that? I think that’s really bad form, he could of said a million other things but you’re right, that’s just rubbing salt into the wound, there was no need for that. Men can be such idiots sometimes, I honestly don’t know if they have any clue of what they are doing! To me, it sounds like he got scared of the commitment after moving in with you while his lease was up. I don’t know him but from what you’ve said, it does sound like it got too much for him maybe. I could be completely wrong now and he’s just another ass where the grass is greener on the other side. It makes me feel better when I think that they’re going to regret their decision very much whether it be sooner or latter. My ex had told me numerous times how I was the best girlfriend he had ever been with and how he was the happiest he’s ever been in a relationship and I do believe that. So to make myself feel better, I tell myself that he’s kicking himself over what he’s ruined and I’m sure yours will too. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone and it’s so true so keep telling yourself that. We did absolutely nothing wrong, it’s not a reflection on us but on them and we do deserve better than that. It’s really hard for us to see that at the moment as it’s still very raw but I hope in time he’ll eventually fade but I think it’s going to take quite some time (picture a skeleton sitting on a bench!!) 🙂 I hope some of this helps you, big hug to you xx