Dear Peter I liked what you had to say, and I appreciate your input. My mil always says she speaks from experience, and she’s older and wiser. I’m not sure if my mil is imagining my intentions when I’m speaking or if she is genuinely listening to what I have to say. But she dislikes it very much if I don’t agree with her perspective and dismisses what I have to say by concluding it with you don’t know what your speaking about so what you have to say is not important because you don’t have enough experience.

Dear Anita,
As always it’s nice to hear your input I greatly appreciate it. I have tried and continue to assert myself to her comments. I try not to take what she says personally, this gives me the opportunity to not react defensively, but it’s hard. I try to understand where she’s coming from as only wanting the best for her children. I try to remind myself that she had a hard up bringing. And lastly I try to read between the lines and see if there is something truth to what she says and maybe she sees something in me that I need to work on. Her favorite motto is she leaves no room for mistakes. And I tell her I don’t look at my mistakes as errors but rather to do things differently next time, learn and grow. She’s big on words and says whatever you have to say carries big meaning so choose your words carefully when you speak to her. I am open as to what you advice you can offer I honestly would like a better relationship with her.

Waw thank you both Peter and Anita. I really enjoyed reading your responses. Both offered much insight.

Peter you said “It is unfortunate that for many to live and stand up for there truths they generate the energy to do so from hate, rage, and ugliness. As you say emotions of anger, fear, even hate serve a purpose. I believe that purpose is to awaken us that something is not as our truths indicate they should be and that we must act however that does not mean that such action be ugly, anger, rage… But this failure to part of the whole and so Love.” Thank you for sharing that, it makes sense To feel uncomfortable when our perception of truth gets rattled by someone elses. I love that you said its purpose is to awaken us and we shouldn’t react to in negatively. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Anita
Your way of putting things into perspective is a gift and talent. I love that you spoke about acceptance. You said “What people feel, that is automatic, mental chemical events that just happen. Since we don’t choose our feelings, we are not responsible for them as they occur. We are responsible for our behaviors, or should be. It is about healing and learning, to automatically react to our feelings less and less and instead, initiate behaviors that although take into consideration what we feel, are primarily guided by our values.” Thank you for sharing that, I especially like what you said because I was conflicted with how a person makes me feel, and choosing whether to feel that way. But you’re right we don’t choose our feelings as they occur it just happens. Your also right when you said we are responsible for our behaviors, I felt something in my heart with that sentence when I read it. What we value we hold near and dear, and when it’s questioned we react based on our feelings. It’s important to value someone else’s mental being, and that can be done with acceptance. What a beautiful way to put it. Thanks again Anita.

Thanks Anita for another response it reminded me of the movie inside out in a way. Anger or sadness is something we are born with for a reason. It can serve as a protector or even a motivator. In your response you said ” in a dry theoretical perspective, one can imagine a world where unconditional love is the norm. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of world we live in.” Our world has its ugliness which is there on purpose to help mold us into becoming our unique self. We hurt so we can learn to do things differently to change to improve. Everything can’t all be good.

Dear Anita,
Thanks again for another response, I really love what you said “It is not the TIME that gives us wisdom, it is the LEARNING that we do throughout time”. Waw I have never looked at it that way, it makes so much sense. If we do not learn from our mistakes then we will keep repeating the same ones and in the end learn nothing. What a beautiful way to put it into persepective for me. I think that has to be one of my favorite quotes yet. Thanks for sharing.