Thank you Anita for your kind words. I’m am really happy a special place like tiny Buddha exsist, a place I can come to when I need answers, and give me peace of mind. Therapy for the soul.

I didn’t look at it that way as her wanting to use material against me. It has taken me a while to understand her personality and who she is, I try to see the good in her, I hoped she would do the same for me, but not everyone works that way I’m learning that. As for her son, she does want him in her life and also wants him to be more open, but he says she has a hard time accepting some of the things that he says, so he rather not share. Thanks again Anita.

Anita you never fail me with your advice, you always hit it right on the nail. Thank you. And you are thoughtful for remembering my previous post I appreciate that. Your are right her intent was not to hear an honest answer but to give her answer that she wanted to hear instead which was she was not difficult. I have to remind my self that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and i need to stop waiting for her acceptance I don’t need it. I accept myself and I love me that’s what’s important. Thanks Anita always nicely to hear from you.

No I’m stuck. But whenever things lighten up I will be sure to update. Thanks again Anita. I’m greatful to just have somewhere to come and get my thoughts out, its better than keeping it all in.

Dear anita,
Thanks for your feedback, spouse, significant other, he’s both. I say unsteady because he sometimes work. He’s constantly in and out of jobs because he’s trying to figure out what exactly he wants to do career wise, so I guess I understand to an extent, but I sometimes wish he would hold something down longer or make a sacrifice by sticking with something for a while till he finds something better just so the pressure wouldn’t be on one person. But then I don’t want him to be doing something he dislikes in the long run, so I try to be supportive. I guess he’s comfortable being back by his parents, because it doesn’t seem to have motivated him any extra to find something that he likes and wants to do. And I think his parents looks at this as laziness. I ask how can I help because I don’t want them to think this of me as well since it’s been hard for me to find work also. So I try to help out with chores, but i feel like it’s not enough and feel I can be more of a help if I contributed financially as well, meaning if I could also help out with bills, rent food, I understand how important those things are. We are partners we do want the same things our own place to be independent. But in order to do that we have to save, and I feel help my inlaws as well, as it would be the respectful thing to do.

Dear anita,
I would say her husband is submissive to her, he just goes along with what she says to make it easier on himself, if he disagrees then she will be angry and upset. Her son my significant other is quite the opposite, he makes his own choices he has a mind of his own. Growing up he was close to her but when he hit adult hood they grew apart, mainly because he chose not to confine in his mother anymore and decided to do things for himself. She disliked this greatly and tells him that she feels closer to her daughters and not him because he makes decisions for himself instead of hearing her perspective. Her daughters who are adults never go against their mother for she would not forgive them. He said before when he opened up to her she would judge him and be upset, so he stopped sharing with her.

Thanks Anita for your response it was short and to the point. You always know what to say. You make the experience on tiny Buddha helpful, because I feel like I can be open here and not judged. I’m trying to be closer to my mother because I understand life short and I want to make the best of the time we are given. I am trying to be more supportive but given our history it’s something I’m working on, I fear if I’m open and she leans on me I too will suffer from anxiety and will start worrying about things I cannot control, I was like this before and worked hard on changing myself and worring less, I would like to be more open but have difficulties doing this because I fear being judged. I know that what people think about me is none of my business and i have no control over what they’re thinking. I kick myself in the butt after opening up to my mil because I feel like we get no where, and she ends up judging me, or speaking about me to her daughters and then they change the way they act around me. I try to open up to her because I crave her acceptance..why? I feel like an alien sometimes. That’s something I have to work on also. I thought I accepted the fact that not everyone I meet in my life will like me or connect with me, but I have a hard time accepting this from my mil and her family.

Thanks Anita for taking the time to read back to my previous post that means a lot. I’m trying to distance this feeling of attachment I feel towards my mil. Thank you