David4500,

Thank you for your insight. Your response, that it’s time to call it quits when both people stop listening, resonated deeply with me and gave me a lot to think about. You are likely right that I should try to listen more to understand him.

I would be delighted to hear about his feelings, but no approach I try seems to work. When I ask him about something gently, he accuses me of putting him on the spot and suggests I try sharing about myself first. When I try sharing about myself first with the hope that he will reciprocate, he accuses me of only caring about my own needs. And when I don’t try anything at all, communication does not take place either. I try telling him that I sincerely want to be here for him, that I want him to feel comfortable coming to me with things that are on his mind, but he tells me that he doesn’t need anybody for emotional support. And in turn, when I come to him for emotional support, he says that I should also deal with everything on my own and not come to him.

Do you have any suggestions on how to open the door of communication? Or does that cross the line of trying to change someone? I feel lost sometimes.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by LaLaTra.
• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by LaLaTra.