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ritu

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  • July 3, 2013 at 8:36 am #37916
    ritu
    Participant

    Dear Oskari,

    I think this is the best thing that has happened to you. Sometimes not getting what you want is a brilliant stroke of luck…and this is what I see in this case. This girl was in love with you and you with her. You guys were committed to each other for 5 yrs, still she could easily forget all that and ditch you. Imagine how different it would have been had you guys been married, or have had children. This girl had that streak…of betraying and thank God, you came to know of it before you guys got married. May be there were problems between you– some minor ones or whatever…but even then, she should have spoken to you about them and both of you collectively could have taken a decision to be together or move on. This kind of betrayal is wicked.

    It’s sad that you may have to come face to face with this girl and her new found ginny pig. Don’t feel jealous man……she was not woth it.

    Move on….be a man you always wanted to be…..one year loss is no loss….gather yourself…learn the language you need to learn ( I guess it’s Russian right)..and plan your career. Make new friends…involve yourself in some physical activities like going for long walks. Gather yourself and your life.

    Life will present you with lot better things…just have faith….

    THERE IS ONE THING YOU NEED TO COMPLETELY STOP………..DISCUSSING WHY SHE DID IT, WHAT WILL SHE DO NOW. She is not your subject anymore ( and as I have already said, a person who can ditch one person can ditch another too. When you really love someone, you make every effort to make things work and cheating…well no way acceptable).

    Your subject is you and this is something you should discuss more and more…:-)

    Cheers!!!

    Stay blessed!!!

    July 2, 2013 at 10:32 pm #37865
    ritu
    Participant

    Hi,

    It is always shattering when a relationship one invests so much into ends abruptly. No doubt you must be going through a really tough time. As others have opined , time is the best healer and howmuchever difficult it may sound right now, know that you will get over it.

    SO FIRST AND FORMOST ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE ENORMOUSLY HURT AND THIS IS VERY NATURAL….BUT YOU WILL SURELY GET OVER IT.Have that assurance.

    Next big question is when? This will vary from person to person, but professional help from a cousellor and sharing your feelings with friends and well wishers can expedite the process. If you will try to deal with it alone, you may take much longer. So the idea of sharing it on a forum like this is a brilliant idea. Keep us posted on how you are progressing, what thoughts you are going through and we all will be there to support you, listen to you.

    SO SECOND, DON’T DEAL WITH A TOUGH SITUATION ALONE…HAVE PEOPLE YOU SHARE YOUR JOURNEY WITH IN ANY TOUGH TIME. IT HELPS ENORMOUSLY.
    SO SHARE SHARE AND SHARE….

    In the meanwhile pamper yourself….do whatever you like to do…may it be watching a movie…or going for a walk…or …just anything. Have a routine….and stick to it like a robot…even if you don’t feel like. …Get up at x hrs….going to work at y hrs e.tc. In hours of crisis like this to live by a routine also gives a sense of direction and purpose.

    SO THIRD…PAMPER YOURSELF AND ENSURE THAT YOU DONT IGNORE THE ROUTINE YOU MAKE FOR YOURSELF.

    Take Care,

    much love…..ritu

    July 2, 2013 at 1:44 am #37745
    ritu
    Participant

    I feel the heart has all the answers…..always and everytime. Its the inertia which prevents us from something clearly written all over. I would suggest :

    1. you speak one last time with your boyfriend about all your concerns. It should be you speaking out honestly what you feel and what you want.
    2. give him some time to think about what you have said and if he thinks and if he is ready to change….may be a month is suitable time.
    3. move to your mom’s place for a month or so. and tell the guy…if he sees any substance in whatever you spoke and he is ready to work towards aking it a meaningful relationship….you both can go to a counsellor after one month and start afresh. But for one month just put the relationship in sleeping mode and pamper yourself. Don’t discuss much about your relationship with anyone.

    Just Eat and pray for one month…..se if you and more importantly he is ready for LOVE……again:)

    Cheers!!

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