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Kristin

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  • January 1, 2015 at 12:45 pm #70096
    Kristin
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    Staples 400,

    Thank you for your response. It is insightful to hear the story of someone who was in similar shoes as me currently. I am strongly against getting married until I have spent a significant amount of time with anyone. I have seen too much pain in my parent’s marriage for that. I am hoping that once my s/o moves back (as he claims), we can truly see how compatible we are as a couple. I love him dearly, but I do realize that things in relationships can pop up that can be deal breakers. We are trying to approach our relationship responsibly at this point although we do talk of our future together often.

    Do you have any recommendations as to how to respectfully address things with my family? As you said, I do value their opinions and I can see their cause for concern, but I feel as though they have made some harsh judgements before even meeting my boyfriend.

    January 1, 2015 at 8:33 am #70087
    Kristin
    Participant

    Buddhajackson,

    I have found myself in a very similar situation to you for the last 8 years. It is extremely difficult when you find your home (the place that is supposed to be your haven and safe place) to be in turmoil. I fully relate to your desire to escape from the situation you find yourself in at home.

    What I have found to be helpful is to turn your focus inward and concentrate on the things that are in your control. You mention that you do not have a car–would you be able to take a walk around your neighborhood for some quiet reflective time or possibly get a part-time job just to get you out of the house?

    I would not advocate for much confrontation. I have attempted it (as has my sister) in the past to no avail. Sometimes there is just a deep seeded anger or resentment that you are not able to reason with. The usual result of such confrontations? Explosions. Anger and hurt for both parties with no real resolution.

    I don’t know that there is any real solution to the problem we find ourselves in with our fathers. Sometimes it is beyond our control. Keep your head held high and try to focus on yourself in the meantime. Before you know it, you will be off to university with a whole new adventure ahead of you.

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