impressed by your mature, well-written post Jade.
Actually I feel sorry for you. I think your parents are too controlling. But just remember, it’s tough to live independently without a well-paid job these days. So you may have to put up with certain restrictions at home and tough it out. I’m sorry but it seems your parents may not be in listening mode. One idea is to try to get in their good books, in order to win their approval. But don’t overdo it. 🙂

And Jack, as always, I enjoy your perspectives – you certainly have a lot of positive to offer!!

I know… 🙂

I just noticed this thread of yours J, and I think it is a very relevant theme for me too.
Feeling guilty for friendships fading away, for not staying in touch. I mean I could have a lot more friends now, if I made that effort but I just think we have less in common now, (different job, different city)
But I want to especially relate this to my family of 6 brothers. My parents have passed on.
I sometimes think, if we didn’t have the same parents we would never become friends in real life. We are all so different, have different perspectives on life and it widens the older we get. I don’t really feel close to any of them. It is only our shared memories that keep us together and blood relations. I would like to sever at least one of those ties, but it is not practical because of family reunions. If I think about it now, I never had much in common with this particular brother at all. Yet he forced his world view on to me, when he was younger, and even now gets wound up occasionally and becomes dismissive of anyone who dare disagree with him.

Joe thanks for your post. I particularly paid attention to the part about bearing grudges. It reminded me of a Buddhist talk I went to and the lady talked about the very same thing. She said “and there was I angst-ridden, hating this person who lived miles away in a different country. I was filled with hateful thoughts and you know what? I was being slowly poisoned by my own mind! I laugh about it now.”
In meditation, we can actually devote a session to one difficult person in our lives. A loving-kindness (metta) meditation is particularly relevant. It is recommended that we stagger our difficult people, so start with the less difficult people and graduate to the hardest ones. 🙂 I’ve tried this actually, and it definitely helps. I’m a long way from expert though. If you know you are going to be obsessed about someone, do a meditation in the morning with them as a focus. I actually add my own Christian prayers (but that is optional 🙂 I’ve found, when I have a good session in the morning, my day goes better.

I guess the 1000 mg joke was as weak as wet water. The sad clown underneath in fact wants to lose a lot more weight to see his self-esteem skyrocket to new heights!!

the list goes on. I’m gradually becoming a narcissist on here, seeking daily validation. Or was I already? 🙂