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You need to start again from scratch somewhere in a completely different scenario. You need to really work hard on self-forgiveness. Make it a priority. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you say to yourself. “I”m OK.I accept and approve of myself.”
No physically intimate relationships for a year.(my opinion)
Create a new daily pattern of good habits and some self-discipline. No need to become regimented. Be gentle with yourself. Realise that you are not the only one who has f****ed up in life. All of us have in different ways. Just we are either hiding it or are in denial.
Renewal and transformation are possible in religions such as Christianity and Buddhism I believe. These may be good options to consider.I am trying to love and approve of myself and have some self-discipline in daily life. But there are bad days when I slip back. I try not to beat myself up. We are all struggling like you, to find true happiness. And that starts by truly forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Good on you for coming clean on this forum anyway. That should help.
Good luck.I’ve gone through periods when alcohol was my main addiction. I used it for a variety of reasons. one was to lose inhibitions in order to find it easier to talk to women. But also an anti-social phase, when I just wanted to numb the brain cells each night to stop that damned chatter in my head usually about those “awful” people at work and how dare they treat me so bad.
But as you say the vicious cycle goes into gear.. Hangover, struggle to get out of bed. Get hungry, eat take away food. No nutritional awareness. Burgers and chips being the staple. So naturally increased waistline. Lethargy, no exercise, more negative self-talk and slowly but surely erosion of self-esteem to zero and anxiety levels going through the roof. I bet if someone did a graph to show correlation between high anxiety and low self-esteem , it would be quite revealing. Like the economist’s demand and supply curve?
But alcohol is just another addiction. Well it was for me anyway. I was a serious gambler, a 40 pack a day smoker, 10 hour a day mah-jong player,a daily tramadol user. Not heavy drugs on that list I’m relieved to say but overall not a list to be proud of.
Addictions are a part of life. Just make sure you have a relatively healthy one such as exercise or religion. Moderation is also another alternative which I have managed with alcohol now.Individuation[edit]
Jung considered individuation, a psychological process of integrating the opposites including the conscious with the unconscious while still maintaining their relative autonomy, necessary for a person to become whole.[38] Individuation is a process of transformation whereby the personal and collective unconscious is brought into consciousness (by means of dreams, active imagination or free association to take some examples) to be assimilated into the whole personality. It is a completely natural process necessary for the integration of the psyche to take place.[39]
Besides achieving physical and mental health,[39] people who have advanced towards individuation tend to be harmonious, mature and responsible. They embody humane values such as freedom and justice and have a good understanding about the workings of human nature and the universe.[38]
from Wikipedia re definition of individuation
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 