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jock

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Viewing 15 posts - 766 through 780 (of 919 total)
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  • September 25, 2015 at 3:25 pm in reply to: Emotional Truth #84105
    jock
    Participant

    Sometimes I’m controlled by a part of me who follows “should” protocol.(Pious Pete)
    I should see the good in this person.
    I should like them.
    But I guess people can pick up pretty quickly whether you really like them or not.
    If they look like a lone wolf or rejected by others, I make a special effort to be kind to them. This comes from a sincere part of me because I feel like a lone wolf myself. I’m not being patronising then and in fact I often connect well with lone wolves. They have the courage to stand alone and not play politics in order to survive. That’s something I’d like to think that I do too. With higher self-esteem, I can do it more often.

    September 25, 2015 at 2:58 pm in reply to: Time #84102
    jock
    Participant

    Time is precious but we don’t realise it until it is too late.
    I can remember being bored in class as a kid sometimes or on long summer holidays. I didn’t realise they were golden years at the time, so precious.
    When we get bored, we think we are stuck in some kind of time warp that will last forever. We don’t realise that in the scheme of things, it is just a microsecond, a flash in the pan, when compared to our whole life, or indeed universal time.
    I’m 57 now. I know the next 13 years will fly and suddenly I’m 70. Then 80 and 85 and facing death. To think that I would waste any of that time being bored or stuck in some petty grievance in my head about some one else, is pathetic. Buddhism is to truly wake up. Wake up from our limited mind. Wake up to universal time.
    Wake up and smell the coffee Batman!
    Holey underpants Batman!

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by jock.
    September 25, 2015 at 2:37 pm in reply to: Heavy metal music #84100
    jock
    Participant

    the only song I like is “Nothing Else Matters” by…???? that famous heavy metal band from the US.
    And its a ballad anyway.

    Metallica…that’s it..

    September 25, 2015 at 1:06 pm in reply to: approval #84096
    jock
    Participant

    Self-doubt is a flaw; we’ll care for you anyway

    That’s a relief. I’m the king of self-doubt.
    There seems to be a suggestion I am in a clique or “cool kids” club here. Mmmm..It’d be the first time ever, if that is the case. I’m a natural nerd, extremely uncool. 🙂
    I don’t do cliques and I am usually the one against them in forums.
    And I don’t feel I have anything to apologise for either.

    September 25, 2015 at 4:47 am in reply to: In-laws have torn us apart..what now? :'( #84077
    jock
    Participant

    When you marry someone , you marry their family too. From what you’ve written, I’d feel pessimistic about your marriage. My opinion? Move on…

    September 24, 2015 at 9:24 pm in reply to: OK, come clean, how many of you are there? #84075
    jock
    Participant

    But doing this thread has helped me reduce Ruminator Ron’s power. I feel I now have him under the microscope. The next time he plays up, I’ll hopefully label him before he gets carried away.
    I can imagine more extroverted people would laugh at this thread. Crazy uh? Why spend time introspecting on an imaginary crowd of inner selves, self-created?”
    All I can say in reply is it genuinely helps me. Maybe I’m strange but I don’t care any more. I know that ignoring what’s going on, inside my head, takes me down the slippery slope to depression and anxiety.

    September 24, 2015 at 9:15 pm in reply to: Life… #84074
    jock
    Participant

    Seems like you’re still very emotional so hard to plan anything wisely in that state. (in my opinion)
    Make sure you plan when you feel calm and clear-headed.
    Getting car licence is important I agree but for me personally not number 1 priority. If you can go to a city with good public transport infrastructure, you might not need it so urgently. However, the city I live in now in Australia, has moderate public transport system and some jobs just wouldn’t be available to me if I didn’t have a car. So in that sense, getting a licence is an investment/necessity to finding work.
    Suggest to your parents you need money to pay for driving lessons? (you’d have to get them in the city I imagine,)

    September 24, 2015 at 5:26 pm in reply to: Do you have a porpoise? #84047
    jock
    Participant

    here’s to the inner child and imagination!!

    September 24, 2015 at 5:22 pm in reply to: Life… #84046
    jock
    Participant

    tough situation I admit welding
    First it seems you are blaming yourself as you use capitals.
    It’s not all your fault at all but here are some things I would do if in your situation:
    – get some discipline into your daily life, wake up, do some exercises, maybe pray or meditate (too weird?), read some positive stuff (I prefer books to the net. You might want to visit the local library)
    -watch your nutrition, fruit and veges?
    -visit a local GP doctor and tell him your story
    -contact some lifeline/social services nearest your house
    -borrow some money for abus trip to a nearby city and spend a day lookingat jobs and the vibe (can I live here?)

    You are going to make some tough decisions soon. If possible ask to borrow 5000 bucks from your parents(possible?). Tell them you want to go to a big city and find a job and be independent)
    And finally get some other advice besides mine… 🙂

    September 24, 2015 at 5:12 pm in reply to: OK, come clean, how many of you are there? #84044
    jock
    Participant

    she’s sort of a special-needs child

    Haha. Good one. That’s exactly it. Ruminator Ron is an attention seeking child. I think your stance is make peace with all your selves especially the troublemakers. Have some patience with them. Try different strategies so they can get along.
    My approach is actually to ask him to leave. Send him to a special needs school. I can’t control him when he gets in that mood. He’s potentially dangerous to self and others. If he has to stay, better to just sit quietly and watch the others.
    Or one option is for him to ask to change his name? No that is desperate… 🙂

    September 24, 2015 at 4:07 pm in reply to: OK, come clean, how many of you are there? #84040
    jock
    Participant

    But Sally Ann’s a pragmatic gal, and she sees the cracks and won’t ignore them. She refuses to sweep upsetting things under the rug, and for that quality, she’s a valuable member of my mental team. She’s a little more likeable if I step into her shoes and realize that she’s helped steer me away from a few life catastrophies. Maybe the same is true for Ron?

    Hi jessa
    thanks for your post. I like your slant on things and yeah I guess I need to give Ruminator Ron his due. If he didn’t exist, I mightn’t notice anything, which would make me less aware….mmmm….but I think Analytical Al fulfills the role without going too far. I can do without the constant replays of negative events. Ron loves going the over same videos all the time “Ron,I’ve seen that one. No need to show me again. Yeah I know they treated you bad, but God get a life! Don’t be such a victim!”

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by jock.
    September 24, 2015 at 3:53 pm in reply to: the real purpose of life #84039
    jock
    Participant

    I’ll try to answer this seriously but is hard because I know I can take myself too seriously and this makes me feel worse.( Analytical Al takes over Maudlin Mal starts to get too sentimental)
    You need to find answers to problems your parents/guardians/older siblings/circle of friends haven’t faced or solved yet.
    My parents never had an opportunity to get education for example or travel overseas. Whether I’ve used these opportunities to my full benefit is the question. I’ve had the opportunity to study Buddhism and meditation. I’ve got a more intellectual approach to life. That doesn’t make me better than my parents. Just different I guess. I think I have some self-awareness they didn’t have but one thing I’ll never match is their family making . They had 7 kids (all boys) and created a beautiful home for all of us. That is something I will always deeply respect about them. They lived their life to the full with no arrogance.

    September 24, 2015 at 3:15 pm in reply to: Frustrated, lost, need help please #84037
    jock
    Participant

    Believe it or not I had the same dream. In Awestralia, you also need to do huge amounts of study (and supervised practicum)in order to be a registered counsellor. The most secure path is a BA in Psych. followed by a Masters in Counselling. (around 5 to 6 years) It is discouraging to say the least but I think I would enjoy the course anyway. (have done some units already)
    One option that I might follow one day is a Drug and Alcohol Counsellor. You do their course part time over 12 months or so. A very practical course. It is a very specific course so you might tire of dealing with the same issue all the time ie. substance abuse, alcoholism. I think there is quite strict protocol in how you counsel these people.
    One counsellor told me “don’t do counselling for the money because it is quite low. Also you get tired of listening to people complaining all the time” So I empathise with Anita on that one. Not sure I would have the patience either. I’ve fantasised in the past of looking like Dr. Jack Freud/Jung and saying “now, what’s the matter?, take a seat on my couch.”
    I imagine you go home at the end of the day, totally exhausted from listening to everyone’s crap! 🙂

    September 23, 2015 at 6:08 pm in reply to: Please help.. am loosing my mind #83984
    jock
    Participant

    It takes time to heal, especially in circumstances like yours.
    This is a true test of your self-esteem. Time to dig deep and believe in yourself.
    I know it sounds strange, but you can find better than this girl. Today’s pain is tomorrow’s gain. If you choose to start believing in yourself, you can attract an excellent partner whom you really cherish and trust.
    I’d say take a break from relationships and try to enjoy time alone. This will be tough because you are still obsessing. If you can somehow gradually calm your mind down…don’t expect to be happy too soon. Patience is the key.
    I feel for you because I am an obsessor extraordinaire. Strong emotions seem to control us as they negate our self-talk. Self talk that sounds like this “I’m such a loser. Why did she do that to me? How could he? I’m never gonna find a girl like her again. What an idiot, a fool I’ve been. I’ll never be happy”
    Look at those thoughts. If we believe those thoughts, we will continue to be unhappy.

    September 23, 2015 at 3:32 pm in reply to: Anyone over 100 kg here? #83979
    jock
    Participant

    Take a break from TB too anita. I don’t blame you.

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