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As I reread my last post, I see that this is a core issue for me in life. I lack tolerance for people who either have little or no intellectual ability, pride themselves on a pragmatic, unintellectual view of life or have no tolerance for the educated. Like a them versus us scenario. Some of my brothers are my exact opposite. They view life very simply nor are they interested in the meaning of life. But because they are my brothers I make allowances. And they do too towards me I admit. But for strangers I am less tolerant.
Psychological projection, also known as blame shifting, is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others.[1] For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.
I admit I am also confused on the definition of projection. that was a definition from wikipedia.
if I look at myself, I don’t like rudeness in others. I might be unaware of rudeness in myself, that is true. But I think it is more to do with inverse projection, (where one of my strong points is politeness). I pride myself on politeness. So anyone who communicates in an arrogant bullying fashion, triggers in me an aversion to that. In fact, dismissive behaviour in general is a real turn off for me. It could be that I really idealise a more educated, reserved approach to communication. A dismissive overconfident style of communication equates to a lack of education! And I idealise educated, uncommittal communication. To some it might appear as “sitting on the fence” but on the other hand it says to me, that the truth is not so simple. There is more than one answer. Sometimes there is no answer because truth is a mystery. Our attempt at understanding truth is just an attempt. That’s all. We are not meant to understanding everything. Language restricts us. I think this was what Jung was getting at.As far as what you wrote here, Jack: “the expert is really the one asking for help”- re-read what you wrote here: examine it: why would The expert get the idea of asking for advice on what-to-do?
My assertion is that we are all our own best therapists. People can give us advice but it is up to us in the end. You can give me advice about my situation here, but you really don’t know the context. Anita, you are an expert on yourself, aren’t you? No one can tell you more about yourself, than you. Then our role in responding to cries for help here is to help people help themselves. Be able to access their own resources.
I see your main strength as empathy. When you respond to my post I feel listened to 100%. I feel truly validated and respected. And totally non-judgemental as well. That is an enormous counselling skill that not everyone has.
I hope it goes no further than a warning. This place would fall apart without you. You have helped a lot of people just through your attentive posts.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 