fbpx
Menu

jock

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 15 posts - 481 through 495 (of 919 total)
1 2 3 … 32 33 34 … 60 61 62
  • Author
    Posts
  • November 10, 2015 at 7:22 am in reply to: Does being authentic really work? #87137
    jock
    Participant

    re talking about your past at work:
    it depends what job you do, but talking about your past can be quite appropriate, for instance as a self-introduction on the first day. If colleagues know what you did before, they can better understand the way you approach tasks, your working style.

    Another point is resumes.
    My resume gets less authentic, the older I get. Who wants to read all the actual jobs I’ve had over the last 40 years? And only staying one week, one month in some.
    The better looking resume is going to help you land the job, whether it is true or not.

    November 10, 2015 at 7:11 am in reply to: Find Motivation #87132
    jock
    Participant

    Nekoshema
    sounds like a terrible job. I couldn’t work 10 hours straight without a proper break. Work on your escape plan is all I can suggest. No one is meant to put up with that for long and earning peanuts I imagine as well. That abuse sounds totally uncalled for. Take care.
    You have a right to complain.

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    November 10, 2015 at 7:02 am in reply to: Does being authentic really work? #87126
    jock
    Participant

    Remember, what matters at the end of the day is our family. Work is a means to earn our livelihood. Companies can find a zillion replacements but a family cant.

    Thanks Raj. Yeah, most of the jobs I’ve had recently were just a means to an end and I couldn’t wait to get home each day either.. 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    November 10, 2015 at 6:58 am in reply to: Does being authentic really work? #87125
    jock
    Participant

    Maybe Authenticity means Not Playing the Game

    Thanks Inky for your input on this thread. What you said here intrigues me. I feel like someone who doesn’t like playing the game. If I have a headache, I’m probably going to tell you. 🙂 I’m not afraid to complain. Others will tough it out. One job I was at, I raised issues at meetings like safety concerns and wastage which got me unpopular with some people including the boss. At work it is better to appear part of the solution than the problem. And that is fair enough but then you can become obsessed with coming across in a positive light. Guess I never was meant to be a salesmen, eh. Those shameless self-promoters used to annoy the hell out of me 🙂

    November 10, 2015 at 6:47 am in reply to: Does being authentic really work? #87123
    jock
    Participant

    The best way to succeed in a workplace is to be as aloof and nonchalant without losing your authenticity like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption

    Yeah some places I’ve worked at remind me of prison too 🙂

    November 10, 2015 at 6:44 am in reply to: Does being authentic really work? #87122
    jock
    Participant

    Authenticity doesn’t mean showing your whole hand

    Good example is here, online. The more authentic I am on here, the more likely I am to get a better response ? Well, that is the more authentic I appear to be.
    I’m not going to air all my dirty laundry …just the attractive dirty laundry 🙂
    Take Anita for instance. She is someone who uses her real name as a username. She has talked openly about her awful experiences teaching, her difficult mother, her extensive therapy and has indicated what state she lives. Now, I’m not prepared to tell you which state I live in Australia and my real name is closer to Bartholomew than Jack. I don’t want people from my past reading my posts. But there’s a small chance, that it might happen one day. That’s a risk I take.
    Since this is mainly a therapy type forum, I’m mainly going to talk about childhood, family issues and emotions. I’m not going to tell you how I visit the beach every day and love conservation. That doesn’t seem relevant.
    I suppose the real title of this thread is:
    How do you define authenticity?
    Brene Brown cracks me up. She’s like a good stand-up comedian. Part of that skill is her ability to connect. And her ability to connect means her ability to appear vulnerable to us. She does share some of her past with us, and in that way I feel Like I know her better and can respect her more. But she takes a risk. Someone may she think she is kinda dumb, sharing her real self with us,that she should protect herself more.
    OK I’ve digressed here, sorry. 🙂

    November 7, 2015 at 5:00 pm in reply to: Moral Dilemma, Don't Know What to Do #86953
    jock
    Participant

    You might’ve missed my edited post there. You may have to keep it a secret further if it is OK with your girlfriend. Until you move out of the house.
    Are you content with keeping it a secret? Is she? If sex is really important to both of you, you need to get a job and move out. I’m assuming you are old enough to leave school/college. Your age is relevant in this discussion.
    If you are young and still in high school and sex is very important to you, I suggest you find another girlfriend. But if your relationship is more important than the sex, then, go celibate until you are independent.

    November 7, 2015 at 4:47 pm in reply to: Moral Dilemma, Don't Know What to Do #86950
    jock
    Participant

    Don’t do it at her parents place for a start, as you may leave further evidence and out of respect to their wishes. True they can’t force you not to have sex but would you expect their assistance, should she get pregnant?
    I hope you guys get away with having a good time together though. If you had financial independence and your own place to stay, I’d say, the parents had no case to answer and no reason to interfere.
    I’d say you don’t have to tell them the truth of what happened unless you really have to.

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    November 7, 2015 at 4:39 pm in reply to: So much more than the labels assigned to me #86949
    jock
    Participant

    a privilege to read, thanks diana

    November 7, 2015 at 3:18 pm in reply to: To stay or go? #86945
    jock
    Participant

    Having lived in Japan for almost 15 years (not now), I can fully understand “reverse culture shock”.
    I support Anita’s advice to stay in the UK. Head over heart. Gradually you will adjust to living in the UK but it takes time.
    We tend to only remember the good times. I loved Japan but there aren’t good conditions for English teaching now. That’s why I left. I miss the culture though, especially the food and would love a holiday there but long term doesn’t suit most foreigners . Japanese don’t really cater for foreigners long term (eg. pension scheme) But I know the feeling you have. It’s like a love affair with a culture.

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    November 7, 2015 at 3:10 pm in reply to: I can't find help, so I need to die #86944
    jock
    Participant

    I have put a lot of time into self help and helping others, only to find that tinybuddha.com has the most purely helpful and unbiased advice I can find.

    Anita and others who regularly respond. A credit to you!

    November 7, 2015 at 1:18 am in reply to: Emotionally on the fence #86913
    jock
    Participant

    Well, I think like most people reading this, I would like to know the secret. because then I can better understand your angst and therefore give better advice.

    November 7, 2015 at 1:11 am in reply to: Low Confidence #86912
    jock
    Participant

    but I dont feel that wild connection that we used to feel. He is always trying to make me laugh and smile, but at the end of the day, i struggle to feel what i need from him

    I think you might be expecting too much. Relationships can’t maintain that honeymoon feeling for long. 2 years is pretty good really.
    What do you need from him exactly? Try to see from his point of view would be my advice. My opinion is a guy’s opinion (my first instinct was to see your post from his point of view)so you will need to hear from the ladies as well.

    November 6, 2015 at 9:52 pm in reply to: I need your insights on this one #86903
    jock
    Participant

    sorry but “100 thoughts a day” jumps out at me first. Some of us can do 100 thoughts a minute, easy! 🙂
    Can I ask your religion? Because it seems to be brainwashing you, making you feel guilty for no reason. Some religion’s dogma or doctrine in not conducive to good mental health. Ones that promote puritanical perfectionism, are not healthy in my view. This is my opinion. I was raised Catholic and some of the dogma made me feel guilty for even having selfish thoughts. But again that could’ve been my misinterpretation.
    Words like Armageddon and Judgement Day can haunt you. Better to look forward to Non-Judgemental Day. 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
    November 6, 2015 at 3:43 pm in reply to: Farewell Llama Jack #86887
    jock
    Participant

    Beautiful response thanks Anita
    You are so entitled to not believe in any God from your poignant childhood stories of being treated as a whipping post. And then, not being answered by a God when you reached out to him.
    I on the other hand, was only thrashed once or twice by my mother and she was really stressed, I remember. My grandmother had to stop her. But my happy childhood memories far outweigh the bad ones. Mum tried to be there for me but she was kind of shy too.it was common in those days for mothers to act like Mum I think. Not express strong opinion. My father. My father I have almost all happy memories of him too. He was such a gentle guy and his main talent was warmth and cheerfulness. In his presence, I always felt loved, appreciated. I think Dad was in awe of his children. he just loved parenthood. I feel privilege to have had such kind, flexible and broad-minded parents.
    So I have a reason to believe in God. And I hope that God resides in me. because I will be calling on him to help through the last few decades of my life. Did I say hope? Well, there is a kind of knowing really. Just I have to listen to his voice above the noise of the other attention seeking inner selves
    The irony then is Anita, that it seems love radiates from you. Surely some of that is from God.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 15 posts - 481 through 495 (of 919 total)
1 2 3 … 32 33 34 … 60 61 62