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jockParticipantRe watching the news. I can fully understand you not watching the news. It is so upsetting, depressing, negative, mainly focussing on what is wrong in the world. Happiness or happy people don’t rate! It’s almost like happiness is boring.
But then there is part of me that thinks we need to know what is going on in the world. I think we need some awareness of current events to better understand other people’s views and where they are coming from. Otherwise we start to lose touch completely.
What I don’t like is the media circus. Now there are thousands of journalists in Paris. Do we really need that many there?jockParticipantI’d like to say on behalf of my ego, thanks for boosting it to astronomical levels. It now thinks it can conquer the world!
Cheers though Saisha.jockParticipantSounds like a poem.
What do you know
you need to let go?
is it the news, the paper
or the late night show?
I need to let go
of the need to know
of the need to know
of how my life’s end will go
Also
I need to let go
of appearing a pro
to all my bro
and sisters
And lately oh
I need to let go
of worrying so
about the fact
I have little dough
money honey
funny bunny
at least it’s sunny
outside
right now[ hope you didn’t think my reply was disrespectful Saisha]
jockParticipantthanks saisha for your input here
jockParticipantI thinky Inky is right. I kind of suspected from the start, the same thing.
jockParticipantNothing like self respect. When you experience it you know, you know then it makes life worth living. I like the statement the way I mean it, that I rather die on my feet than live on my knees.
beautiful
jockParticipantThat sample exchange you wrote for me, would take a huge shift for me. That is really strong, for how I usually portray my persona. You;ve pinpointed a core issue for me this morning, Dr Anita. As a counsellor, you are the best kept secret on the net.
jockParticipantI think my conclusion is:
it is better to have self-respect and no job than a job and no self-respect.
Self-respect is so important in life. We cop out too much just for money/survival.jockParticipantET: Did you do it the way I showed you? You didn’t did you?
Jack: I will not answer you when you use this disrespectful tone. I am not a child and if I was I would expect better.
Internal critic (healthy): Jack, you did well. You stood up for yourself. you were assertive and I am proud of you!)
ET (one worst case scenario): You don’t like the way I talk to you? (raising voice)- well, you can quit!
Jack: Or you can change the way you talk to me. Lower your voice for one.
Internal Critic: You are doing well, jack. You are consistently standing up for yourself. You are courageous. You are choosing to…take the risk of standing up for yourself and insisting on being respected. I am so proud of you!
ET: (shouting) Now hurry up and do it the way I showed you!
Jack: F*(*^ you (leaves)that is sensational anita
thanks so much especially the “or you can change the way you talk to me” linejockParticipantSome people might look at that scenario as a perfectly normal workplace scenario without any thing to complain about.”just do it and stop moaning!”
jockParticipantsorry I forgot to explain that little scenario I typed there about the workplace bully/internal bully.
What do you think? As always, I appreciate your input. Otherwise skip it, no problem.jockParticipantWould you rather err on the side of being submissive or on the side of being aggressive, a bit?
good question
in the workplace, there’s always that pressure of “don’t rock the boat, you want a paycheck, don’t you”jockParticipantET(External Bully at workplace)
IT (Internal Bully)ET: Did you do it the way I showed you? You didn’t did you?
Jack: Sorry but does it really matter?
IT: Jack, you idiot, you should’ve done it the way she showed you, now she’s got you cornered
ET: Does it really matter? Of course it matters! (raising voice). If you want to work here, you’d better do as we tell you, OK?
Jack: OK
IT: You’re letting her raise her voice and you are not even going to say anything? You useless numbskull!
ET: (shouting) Now hurry up and do it the way I showed you!jockParticipantI guess there is a danger that if we gain self-confidence and narrow our boundaries and are wired to pounce on any trace of bullying, that we lose something as well. In fact we might become the bully instead . Our self-awareness telling us “I’m just being assertive ” when in fact we are coming across as aggressive and overly defensive.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 