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jockParticipantYean
Thanks for your post. I’m sorry I haven’t given you my own answer. The truth is I fear I will be forgotten. I suspect my passing will not impact anyone much really. If I depart before my partner, she will miss me initially but realities will soon force her to face up to her new future without me. I think she may have some happy memories of us balanced with less happy ones. She will not miss my sarcasm, I know that.
My family live interstate and we haven’t been close for ages. Life will go on. I didn’t impact them much at all.
I have no kids and my dog has a very short memory. 🙂
But as I said before, this is “little scared me”. It’s only a part of me.jockParticipantThis question may seem narcissistic to some people but I believe there is no shame in admitting we all have a small streak of wanting to stay in the flotsam and jetsam of other people’s memories. It is only a small part of us. The “little me” as Tolle calls it or ego, which is so terrified of anhialation. The spiritual observer part of us can notice such a thought and choose not to identify with it.
jockParticipantRy Cooder, Ali Farkha, Flo Rida, Men at Work, Gordon Lightfoot, (some are depressing but strangely cheer me up)
jockParticipantThanks Anita , Inky and J. Your responses are appreciated now by me at this point in time. In some small way, we have impacted each others’ lives here on Tiny Buddha. I was thinking about this the other day. Sometimes I will have a flashback of an incident that happened 40 years ago and I will suddenly remember a person from the past, I hadn’t thought of for a while. All those interactions from the past have more significance than we think. Every tiny interaction is woven into the fabric of our unique lives. Then we all truly become, works of art.
jockParticipantthat my head was so full of their opinions I didn’t or couldn’t block out seeing thru THEIR eyes
seaisland
that’s exactly how I felt with my older siblings. I was afraid to view the world through my own eyes. I didn’t trust my own instinct. Always check first what they would think. This leads to second guessing yourself, a trait I still have.
Anita thanks for your analysis. re core belief “I still have to pay off my past sins.” It is hard to challenge this one but I am trying to. You’ve made me aware of it at least and I will try to be less masochistic about it now.jockParticipantof course it could be “death” too, as I reread the original post Anita.
re Karmic Debt:
well I don’t think they are fully realised in one lifetime. I mean how can Stalin, Mao or Hitler’s be fully realised? They got off lightly. It is possible for suffering to make us better people, more compassionate but not all the time. If I apply karmic debt to my own life, I seriously think I still have some debt to pay for past sins. Example, quitting jobs too easily. Deep down I think I haven’t suffered enough for this yet, which makes me apprehensive about the future. But there may be a danger here of masochistic choices, which are not helpful.jockParticipant“We all have it coming”
Not sure I agree with this quote. Does it mean we all have to pay the price for our mistakes sooner or later? Well, it is kind of like karmic debt; we do good today and sow a seed for future happiness and likewise if we do bad today.
Just the quote is a very negative one, only focussing on how we have to pay for our past sins. Or am I way off target here?jockParticipantThey win when you react in a way that is not your authentic self. I am glad that I am no longer (as) vindictive–but have surely paid for wasted time trying to get even or try to make them understand hurt they caused me. I tried to “give them what they had coming” and hurt myself, my morals, my beliefs, and wasted my time.
Well said Seaisland. I think you are right on the money. Staying mature with an immature adult is the challenge for all of us.
And as Anita suggested, ignoring these people is the best policy as we just get on with our lives.jockParticipantreminds me of that movie “freaky Friday” 🙂 🙂
hello, hello, glad to see you are all happy as Larry or is that Barry or Harry for that matter?jockParticipantGorgeous post Kate. Absolutely brilliant. See the value of self-esteem? If we believe in our own value, no gossip is ever going to hurt us. We onlycare what we think of ourselves, not what others think. let it be part of everyone’s mantra who has low-self-esteem. Remember how important it is to believe in ourselves. We have to be on our own side! If we join forces with the critics, we are doomed!
jockParticipantIt would be easier for me to give advice if you gave me more concrete examples of the mistakes and the workplace or wherever you are being gossiped about.
Your mind now seems preoccupied about “my mistakes, my mistakes, my mistakes”. Can you see that you are making yourself more unhappy by replaying those past events and adding some of your own imagination?
People will talk and gossip about us whether we like it or not. My experience tells me that the more I worry that people gossip about me, the more likely it is to happen. Better to get something else to focus on now which brings you into the present moment.
Your self-talk sounds very negative. Can you notice that? The mind can be our enemy or friend? I know which one I prefer.jockParticipantgreat post Miss Hon! Inspirational!
jockParticipantI appreciate your support, but I need to draw my own conclusions about their behavior for myself.”
Frame it. Keep it.
Maybe collect all the useful phrases that represent healthy, assertive communication on one thread. Sorry, don’t mean to derail your thread,by the way.jockParticipantreport him, he’s out of control
jockParticipantHi , just dropped in a rare insomnia episode to read this. And wanted to add that my partner’s favourite movie of all time is Babe, the story of the pig who learns to be an assertive and much loved sheep-dog pig. Great movie I thought too. But the truth be known I love bacon and egg toasted sandwiches! 🙂
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 