Hey Zariah,

Thank you for sharing your story and it is very normal for you to feel this way. When a confession is made about our feelings to another person and they don’t reciprocate, it sucks and it will bother you for while but not forever, I promise.

The feeling of embarrassment and rejection are once again normal. I wasn’t in your shoes a few years back but I was in your friend’s when my best friend of 5 years told me that he liked to be more than a friend, I was silent too. Why? Because I didn’t expect it and I’ve never thought of him that way or even knew that he liked me beyond our friendships. What you are doing is right, give him some time to process and he will slowly come back to you and both of you will get over the awkwardness.

The fact that he still keeps you in the loop of his life meant that he still wants to be around you and friend with you.  Time will tell what is going to happen, for now, please stop focusing on what others think rather and how he feels, he will talk to you once he is ready just like I did with my friend Alvin. Stay busy and try to stay to do other things that keep your mind off the topic.

xoxo

Pinch of Attitude.

Hey Lisa,

How are you doing? Hope you are feeling a bit better the more you write on this forum. Sorry that I couldn’t be as responsive as I would like to be due to my sickness.

Keep fighting and looking forward to hearing more from you.

Love,

Pinch of Attitude

Hi Lisa,

How are you doing? Sorry I was a bit caught up with work and couldn’t respond to you fast enough. Hope you are doing well.

Therapy can be quite costly, I have to stop mine as well due to that reason. A few years back, what I decided to do was to re-evaluate my life, who I want to be around with, read a lot of books and blogs and took self-inventory which I recommended to most of my friends and colleagues who went through the same thing as I did.

Self-Inventory helped me see a lot of my good values that I thought I didn’t have. when I started the process I was honest with myself though I was very negative at that time. I realized that I was smart, beautiful, funny and very capable of many things if only I can drag myself out of bed and just do it. It was so hard but I got through it.

I only have to disassociate myself with a few of my friends who didn’t add any positive value in my life and moved out from my roommate and her husband and found peace with myself.

I hope sharing a bit of my stories will help you to see that you will be better and you need to find what works for you. If you’d like, try my method and let’s talk maybe something else you haven’t tried that can take away these negative energy slowly.

Love

Pinch of Attitude

Hi Lisa,

I’m sorry to hear about how you feel about yourself and hope that you feel better soon enough to tell us your childhood and a bit more on your past which will help to give a better advice.

From what I have experienced, nothing is too late in life no matter how old we are, unless we decide to not give it a try. In your case, I can see that you are willing to seek help to create a better outlook on your current situation so it’s not late to fix the situation.

Looking forward to hearing more about you.

pinch of attitude

Hey Annie,

I got fired a few years back while dealing with depression and so I understood what you are going through. I had a bad boss who wasn’t only patience with me but took the time to put in negatives to my other superior about my performance which wasn’t true at all. Like Anita said, a lot of situations are “WIn-Lose”.

This was what I did:

– Took Self-Inventory, I asked these questions. What am I good at? What skills do I have that make me valuable to the job market? What are the fears that I allow to hold myself back?

– Appreciate the time off but never give up on searching for that dream job. I know that some people cannot afford to take time off but sometimes you need to give your mind rest in order to win the battle.

-Spent time with friends and family whom I have neglected (it was very hard since I didn’t want to get out but I’m glad I forced myself to do it)

– Looked for free/cheap online classes that I can take to improve what I need. I suggested to check out https://www.udemy.com/courses/ I still use it till today.

Looking back, I’m grateful that I got fired from the job because I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Right now you cannot see it but I’ll promise it will get better if you keep going.

Please keep posting and you can reach out to me if you’d like to discuss more. Hopefully, I help you in some way, but losing a job is not something easy to get over with.

Love.

Hi Anna,

This issue hits home for me, not because I was in one but someone very close to me is and I hope after reading this you don’t make the same mistake as she did.

A close friend of mine always wanted kids, a great career and financial independence. So when she met her now husband, she knew that somehow he doesn’t want kids and not career driven as she wanted him to be. What he has that she cannot let go of is he is funny and likable by everyone and that brought a lot of attention on her and get her more friends the life of popularity. Fast forward 4 years after, they have a dog, no kids but lots of friends where praise them both how good they are with each other in public/Facebook. Every time we would meet, she would start talking about kids and that she is happy without them, they are the life ruiner and so forth. I was the only one who advised her to let go of the relationship because it went against everything she wanted in life and her passion/purpose for it but sadly all her new friends who love her husband so much said otherwise.

So here are my thoughts on your story, you have invested so many years in this relationship already, have open and honest talk with him and give him another chance to change if things don’t move the way you want it and you still feel unhappy, stuck and most importantly no sense of purpose in life with him. It’s time to cut the rope and heal yourself to reach out for things that put a smile on your face. My hope is that you don’t blame yourself for this but learn from it to become stronger because everyone deserves to be happy.

Good luck Anna.

Love!

Hi Cee,

I hope my message is not too late and sorry if I sound a bit harsh but speaking from experience, people with baggages need to figure out what they want in life and reorganize where they want to be and with what type of people. I was in a relationship like yours once where he just broke up with his fiance 1 year ago and it was hard for him to move forth as he keeps comparing everyone to her.

So I decided to give him his space and move on with my life because I know everyone and include yourself deserve to be happy and love rightfully. I am now in a happy relationship. So enjoy all the good moments and learn from the unhappy ones because life is about learning and grow.

Good luck and I know you will be ok.

Take Care.