@here4now said:
One think I have attempted to do to help with my anxiety is, be more present in the moment, and not allow myself to dwell on the future or the past too much. Ask myself how are things right now? be present in your current reality, not in the abstract one created by your mind. Secondly when I am having an anxiety attack, some additional coping skills I have developed are meditation, taking my mind off of it by focusing on my breathing and my current existence and centering myself to achieving this.

Yea that’s what I try to do, but I lack of concentration. However I try to be mindful and focus my self on the present moment, even the tiniest disturbing thought takes away my mind in to the abyss of fearful thinking.

I try to meditate as often as I can but It’s pretty hard with 2 jobs.

Helen,

Today when I woke up the first thing I did is I spoke to my mom, the second thing I did is I wrote this article… Few hours later I went to the doctor. I was released a bit. Reading your second paragraph in the first answer, and Matt’s explanation about fixation was a huge relief. Today I had so few bad thoughts and they just came in, felt powerless, and flew away. I couldn’t open my self about the weed to the doctor because I didn’t had the courage. Honestly, I don’t care about that, I only care that my mind is peaceful today.

I am so thankful I discovered this site. Few weeks ago I was just another perfectionist who want’s to live a perfect life, surrounded by perfect people… Impossible enough right? I must admit I am an angry person. I believe my anxiety comes from it too. Come on, I am so perfectionist that I was angry when someone is chewing loudly in my presence… When I searched my mind, I started believing this is the root of my anxiety. BUT, discovering this page was more like discovering my inner self.

Talking about my anger. I don’t know it’s roots, I started believing it’s because of my father-authority problem (everything I do is just childish for my father, EVERYTHING), but who knows…. I was never aware of the things I did in the past (about my anger management). But reading posts here on tiny buddha explained a lot of things. After thinking and thinking I understood that I was a guy who want’s to control the moment. It’s impossible right? I can’t control someone’s chewing loudly… It’s his/her choice. I am practicing living in the present, I am practicing mindfulness, I believe I can accomplish it. I know I can. I can’t be certain about that, but I also practice to live with uncertainty (after all, I have many friends who experienced anxiety and they just waited to die, I don’t know someone in person who started training his mind. I must thank whole tiny buddha for that!).

Thanks for all the positive answers.
Peacefully,
Nikola

Thanks Helen, the second paragraph is a relief, huge one.

As I said I caught my mind searching for signs that will prove schizophrenia. And I tried to explain that there is no sign, only searching for signs. When I catch my self doing that again, I just say my mind, is there truly a sign? or you are just looking for some? It releases me.

I am newbie in meditating and I already downloaded the “calm” app from calm.com. I also downloaded the Yoga program from P90X and I will start doing it today. I wanted in the morning but I had an appointment with a doctor. My physical health is great, my blood is healthier than dragons blood, actually they were amazed of my FE level because I am vegetarian. And it’s a relief to know you are healthy.

About the weed, I am aware of it too. I wasn’t aware in the first panic attack 2 days ago, I thought it’s real. Despite the fact the second after-weed-attack was real too, I explained my self that I had no attack for 2 days (which is the time I was without weed).

I am 100% sure it’s anxiety combined with weed paranoia, but combined they look scary.
Until now I’ve read 8-10 tinybuddha’s article that helped me. I believe I have good and strong psych, but I still needed opinion for my case from peaceful and mindful people here on this site.

Thanks again I really appreciate your help and your time.
Nikola

P.S. The doctor I went is a cardiologist, he is one of the best in our region and luckily he is my father dearest friend. After blood and heart analyzes we had a nice talk that released me a bit. But he prescribed Helex. I’ve never believed in drugs and I am not sure if I should take it. Maybe if I have some hard attack I will take a half as prescribed, but I am not sure for every day usage. The biggest concern is if I teach the mind to be peaceful only under drug usage, I am more optimistic if I teach my mind my self, to be immune from stuff like this.