Hi Anita,

Wow, that is food for thought.

His interactions with his Mum were mixed. He has an older sister who seems to have always been the favourite, my husband however became the man of the family after his Dad left.

His Mum would expect him to look after her, to basically be at her beck and call. I don’t doubt that she loved him but, if he refused to do something for her she would become vicious and say really hurtful things. She would then snap back into a good mood within a blink of an eye and all would be ok again. On numerous occasions my husband would say that his Mum was making him out to be the blacks sheep of the family even though he rarely put a foot wrong – he would just say no to her demands sometimes.

He looked after her pretty much around the clock in her final days which is something I know he is thankful for – he got to spend a lot of valuable time with her.

Hi Matty,

Thank you for your reply.

We have been together for 5 years and married for just over 1 year. This has never happened before.
A bit of background about him – his Mother passed away 2 years ago from cancer, she was a lovely woman but she did sometimes treat my husband as a replacement for his Dad who left when my husband was 19. He left because of the way he was being treated at the time however, he was the last person to visit her before she died. I have a feeling that he didn’t really want to leave his Mum but saw no other option.

I don’t know if this has affected my husband but for the first few years of our relationship, it was centred on his mum and her treatment. It’s only now that everything seems to be going right for us (job, home etc.) that this has come up.