You’re going to be just fine! And it’ll do you a world of good to get a bit glammed up! Might boost your self esteem a little bit!

Im glad you’ve made plans for the weekend! It’ll give you something to look forward to 🙂

I myself have absolutely no plans for the weekend. I’m in this mind frame where even if I made plans I’m afraid I might bail out last minute because I’m just not quite in the mood for social interaction but at the same time I don’t wanna be alone! Better get to planning I guess!

Shelby,

You have to be patient with yourself. It is only natural for you to want to reach out to him. I know that although it feels like you’ve been doing the no contact thing forever, in retrospect it’s not actually been that long!

It is truly like accepting the loss of a loved one. It’s a sudden and painful change in our lives. We mentioned before the comfort of having that one person to speak with to share small details of our everyday, the comfort of coming home to that one person, all of our plans relied on this one person. And suddenly in an instant they are gone.. It most definitely is a lot to take on. Life as you knew it has ended and now you’ve gotta figure out a new life for yourself.

The fact that you were recently in contact has taken you back a few steps. I know this because I too am feeling that now. Everything he said is playing on my mind and as much as I did my best to remain rational in my communication with him all the raw emotions are flooding back in now and I want nothing more to just say YES!! LETS DO THIS RIGHT AWAY! I do feel now that I have pushed him so far away that there will be no way back for us. And that’s scary in itself because I suppose somewhere in my mind I’m unable to fully accept that.

I just don’t know. Most days I feel like I’m just rambling on. Nothing makes sense without him. And then on the other hand how sad is it that my life and happiness is so utterly and completely dependent on this man?!

One thing I do know and have realised over the past few weeks is that although I struggle on a daily basis, I struggle a 100 times more when we’ve been in contact! So he needs to not find ways to get through to me now because I can’t handle anymore!

Shelby,

You’re absolutely right. He’s panicking at the moment but if I let him back in he’d be lost as to what to do next – he hasn’t thought that bit through. At the moment he’s just acting on impulse to try and ‘win me back’ essentially with no real plan of how to get there..

I told him to respect me enough to leave me alone as I am not prepared to go through heartache again, I’ve been through enough. To which he reaponded that he feels terrible about it and he wants to make me happy again. And then the idea of meeting up after work.

It’s a no from me. I have to stay strong and remember the heart ache and tears I have gone through in the last weeks. Let that be my motivation to refrain from any further contact!

Shelby,

Thats exactly it! As much as I would love to run straight back to him I know exactly where we will end up in the next few weeks and it’ll be right back where we are now because he simply is just not ready. He’s panicking right now because it’s the first time I’m saying no, it’s the first time he’s been blocked and the first time I’m actually not reaching out to him. So he knows the games are over and I’m serious about moving past this chapter in my life. And I get that, I respond like that also. Just goes back to us mentioning before that we worry if we don’t reach out it’ll be too late.. but at the same time his mind games and emotional back and forth is not fair on me.

I have cried and struggled badly in the last weeks and I am not prepared to go back on those tears now. I am on the road to recovery from this shitty phase, I may not be anywhere close to feeling okay but I’m most definitely not going to go back on myself.

I know I may sound strong right now but believe me I am far from it!

It is true, everybody experiences struggles in their lives. Everybody is hurting from some sort of experience. As unfortunate as it is, I do take some kind of comfort in knowing that I am perhaps not on my own in all this!

Im going to try and convince myself that this won’t last forever also! I hope it works!

@shelbyville,

I’m sorry you’re feeling shitty again. It’s such an excruciating process isn’t it, it’s draining and heart breaking. I know it all too well. It feels like it’s never going to end but we have to keep hopeful.

He managed to find a way to reach out to me again last night. He’s now going on about a way to fix things. He’s desperate in his manner. Somewhat I knew this was going to happen. Once his ‘lads weekend’ is over and all of his friends go back to their cozy homes with their beds full of love and he’s all on his own out of choice he will try to reach out, and I was right.

As much as it is breaking my heart to say these things I’ve said no. We can no longer be. I let him back in last time and believed he would make things right.. and all he did was fail me. I can’t do it again. I’ve asked that he stops reaching out to me every time he has a weak moment and to leave me alone to process the loss of our relationship. I feel sick.

@shelbyville,

thank your for your constant pick me ups! I really do appreciate it!

As a way of distracting myself and also looking for some out of the world explanation as to why my ex is the way he is I got myself into reading about star signs, numerology, the whole lot! I looked for explanations on why he is the way he is post break up. Or if he will come back. Basically a whole load of silly things to justify what’s happened BUT the one thing I did find is that he is indeed a perfect example of a Capricorn! And in a sense I wish I had read all of this throughout our relationship as a warning hehe!

Do you believe much in these things?!

@shelbyville,

Its interesting you say that. I’m in my mid 20’s and if I’m honest, yes I was willing to give him all the time in the world because although i’m ready to move forward in life I do also feel like I have a bit of time to play with. The reality is, had I done that I would’ve ended up where you are now anyway. Just with many more years of my life wasted!

I do truly believe in the ‘never ready’ type of man. And my ex fits that criteria. He’s so afraid of commitment (although he won’t admit to this) that he just will never be ready. There will always be something that holds him back.

How are you feeling this afternoon?