Wow ok, so this is my first time responding to a forum of any kind but I just came across this post and felt compeled to respond. My advice to you is to get out while you still can or before you invest too much time into this relationship. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear but there are red flags all over the place that you dont want to see because of your good compassionate heart. This guy to me screams of issues and drama that he needs to resolve himself before he gets into a healthy, non toxic relationship. You are not going to be the one that makes him happy regardless of how much you hope. Here are some of the red flags I see that are the beginning of an abusive relationship. Trust me, I know and didn’t want to see them, because like you, I was empathetic and cared too much, and me ex played on those qualities. But in retrospect, after years of being with him I now see they were all there and my instincts knew, but I ignored them.
This guy is opening up to you all at once and too fast. You yourself realize that it’s too intense to fast, but are not paying attention to your gut instincts. He sounds very hypersensitive(being hypersensitive can also be a positive but not when you are projecting your insecurities and issues onto your partner by being angry and upset) and if he is this hypersensitive in the beginning of the relationship, you are, in the future, going to find yourself being defensive and constantly having to apoligize for any comments you make he finds offensive. I don’t know you, but I doubt that comment you made about his tummy was made out of cruelty, and was benign, but the fact that he took it so offensively shows that in the future you will have to be careful with your words and how and what you say to him which can get exhausting. The fact that he got upset at you that you only wanted intimacy from the waist up(and it’s entirely what’s comfortable for YOU) shows me he has no respect for you and is using anger or him getting upset at you to get his way and it worked, so slowly he is beginning to recognize and use control to get his way. The Fact that he got upset at you and said that everyone eventually leaves him shows some obvious abandonment issues which can turn him into being very controlling about what you do when you are not with him and he may lay a guilt trip on you anytime he needs to use that to his advantage (like I’m sorry I threw you against the wall when you tried to leave but you know I have abandonment issues). The fact that he even layed his finger on you in anger when you were walking out the door and that’s the biggest red flag and shows àbusive tendencies. He’s projecting his stuff on you already, and this is all before you both are invested. I can tell you are already struggling in this relationship with this guy and there is already too much of his anger and his being upset at you for this to be healthy. I’m sure he has some positive qualities but you need to look if those qualities outweigh the rest. I think you honestly need to pay close attention to your gut and how you feel around him and how he makes you feel 80% of the time (I follow the 80/20 rule) and follow that because you deserve nothing less then to be in a caring, loving,mutually respectful relationship. The guy can seem perfect for you and finding someone that is willing to communicate is great but it’s not everything. I had a perfect guy that was all about communication (had many books on communicating) and was very intelligent, loving, generous at times, but was also manipulative, and abusive. I’m seeing so much similarities in behavior between the guy you are describing and my ex it’s scary. Anyhow I pray that you just listen to your instinct and even if the slightest bit is saying something just doesn’t feel right but you can’t quite put your finger on it get out. Pay attention to his words and see if they are congruent with his actions or if you are left feeling confused. Pay attention if this feels more like a Rollercoaster ride then a swan ride ( ok maybe that’s a little boring but you catch my drift) but at this point or at any point there should not be all this anger and being upset and offended directed or projected at you. Even if it’s only once in a while.

Blessings
Jess