Thank you for answering!
Al I do realize that my mom has had a rough childhood as she has told me things that have happened to her, because of that I don’t hate her or anything like that, but it seems when I don’t hate her I fall right back into her trap of her manipulating me etc. I wonder sometimes if I should say something to her about it maybe suggesting that she should get help but I am terrified of what she would do to me if I ever said anything like that to her.

Thanks Lorelei I will check out the book as well as look up BPD. I do meditate and It does help but I sometimes still feel stuck. Since I just kind of figured out that my mom may be emotionally abusive I haven’t told anyone except on this forum. And I don’t know how to say it or who to tell. It’s just upsetting because you don’t want to think that your mother is constantly lying to you or going to snap at you for no reason. I know I am always afraid to tell her things because I don’t know how she will react. Should I keep pretending that nothing is wrong with our relationship or should I attempt to say something to her?